


In This Moment

by daddyerenjaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Violence, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Nightmares, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, and I mean SLOWBURN, give this man a hug, i swear this will get better, in future chapters tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyerenjaeger/pseuds/daddyerenjaeger
Summary: He sucked in a harsh breath before using his hands to push himself off the ground, he instantly regretted that because the moment he put any pressure on his right arm he let out another scream before cutting himself off. Eren tilted his head to the side to see what happened to his arm, his breath stuttered and then sped up. He had completely broken his arm, the jagged end of the bone stuck through his skin like a knife.AKA: Eren hurt himself in training and realized he wasn’t normal, or at least fully human.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Sasha Blouse, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is the first chapter and my first fic so dont be too harsh ik its bad. i noticed a severe lack of eremin fics and i said “oh well why dont i write one” and thank you to my friend who read this and said it was good to post. i literally stayed up till 2:30 writing this. hopefully as i continue writing this’ll improve 
> 
> anywaysss basically this’ll follow along the storyline but it starts when they are still in training and eren is a dumbass and breaks his arm, leading to a ton of different things happening

The sun had risen only a few hours ago when the 104th Cadet Corps got up for their morning drills. Connie dragged his feet with Sasha in the back trying to eat some bread without choking on it as they hurried to catch up with the group. In the front was Reiner and Bertholdt with Marco a little behind him. Jean and Eren were past them, trying to push the other out of the lead. Mikasa jogged beside Annie with Armin trying to keep up with the group. Krista and Ymir ran side by side a bit behind Mikasa and Annie. 

“Hey Mikasa!” Armin yelled up to her, she turned around to look at him, “wait up for me!” She slowed her pace as Armin pushed himself harder. He caught up to her and Annie, who decided to wait for him as well.

“Thanks” he said between heavy breaths. Mikasa nodded to him with a small smile. They were curving around the path now, meaning that they were almost done with their run. Armin and Mikasa could hear Eren and Jean yelling at each other as Reiner yelled at them to ‘calm their tits’ as he so elegantly put it. 

“SHUT IT, REINER” Eren and Jean yelled at Reiner at the same time. Annie huffed a quiet ‘idiots’ under her breath and Armin let out a laugh. The rest of the run Armin continued to slow down, but Mikasa slowed her pace to stay with him, same with Annie surprisingly. The group finally arrived at the Barracks and Mess hall to eat breakfast with the other trainees who were there.

“HA! I beat you Jean!” Eren yelled. Jean growled and grabbed Eren by his collar.

“No way in hell did you beat me, shitface!” Jean spit in Eren's face. Eren kicked Jean in the leg and Jean let go of his collar, in that moment Reiner decided to intervene before Commander Shadis saw and made them run laps till they passed out. 

“Oi! Eren, Jean, shut up and go eat!” Marco grabbed Jean’s arm and dragged him away from Eren who was currently being talked down by Armin. 

“Eren,” Armin snapped his fingers in front of Eren and finally got his attention after doing that twice, “calm down it’s 8:30 in the morning.”

“Jean that stupid hoseface I swear he’s going to feel my wraith one day-“ Armin cut him off by grabbing his hand and pulling him inside the Mess hall. Eren took that as a sign to shut up and let Armin drag him along. After they grabbed food they sat down across from Mikasa who was, surprisingly, talking to Sasha. 

“SASHA!” Connie yelled when he slid into the seat beside Sasha, “You ditched me for Mikasa” he said in a fake pouty voice. Sasha laughed and threw her arms around Mikasa’s and Connie’s necks, pulling their faces close to hers. 

“I love you both equally!” She said with a bright smile on her face, Mikasa shook Sasha’s arm off her shoulder and covered her face with her hand before anyone could notice she was blushing. 

“Shut up” Mikasa muttered and Sasha only laughed harder and ruffled Mikasa’s hair. The room filled with the noise of many conversations at once with the occasional yell from someone (mostly Eren). Soon enough Commander Shadis came in and announced what each group would be doing.

“Ok shit-for-brains, listen up!” he started, “Reiner, Eren, Marco, Jean, and Ymir! You all are practicing using ODM gear. Armin, Mikasa, Krista, Annie, Sasha, and Bertholdt! You all are cleaning the Barracks and ODM gear! Clear out” The people who were practicing ODM went to the storage shed and put on the gear as quickly as they could. Eren practically sprinted outside once he had it on and ran to the treeline where they would start training.

____________

Eren practically sprinted outside once he had it on and ran to the treeline where they would start training. 

“C’mon guys, I wanna get to training as quick as possible, the sooner I can, the sooner I can defeat the titans!” Eren all but screamed, making it clear to the other members in his group that he wouldn’t be shutting up about that anytime soon. He started on the training course before the others, I can’t let them steal any kills from me, Eren thought to himself right before a cutout of a titan appeared. He drew back his arms before thrusting them forward quickly into the soft nape of the fake titan, successfully cutting a chuck of the nape. I got it, he thought and Eren grinned and then came back to the task at hand, he knew he had a short amount of time before the others joined him. Eren saw two more up ahead and sped up, trying to recreate a move he saw Mikasa do, but right before he could cut through the fake nape he was cut off by Jean and Ymir who were barreling towards him. He quickly launched himself to the side and just barely got out of the way before both of them cut deep into the nape. Ymir laughed loudly and let herself almost hit a tree before launching herself up and landing on a branch.

“Betcha you didn't expect that” Jean said between bated breaths, hands on his knees for no longer than 5 seconds before he took off again in search of another ‘titan’ to kill. 

Eren jumped off the branch he was on and raced in the opposite direction of Ymir and Jean. I know there’s a ton of those titan figures in here, all I have to do is find ‘em, Eren thought. Eren shook his head and looked around his surroundings, seeing nothing besides large trees and small plants on the ground. He sighed quietly before turning back in the direction where he could hear faint ODM gear noises.   
He shot off, looking around for any cutouts around him, but he soon zoned out after searching for several minutes. The world blurred around him and he thought about what he normally did when he had a chance to be alone, his parents. He hadn’t heard anything from his dad for the past six years, he was supposed to be graduating in a few short weeks and then joining the Survey Corps. His mom was dead, he watched as a titan grabbed her from the remains of his house and ate her. He cried for weeks, he stopped eating and hardly slept for fear of nightmares. It was a miracle he had Armin and Mikasa there to make sure he didn’t accidentally kill himself or work himself to death when they worked in the fields. As much as the trio tried to block out their memories of the three years where they had no family besides each other, the memories always resurfaced soon enough. Eren could hardly remember when life was simple for the three of them, he’s only mentioned it once to Armin, but he could hardly remember his mothers face and what she sounded like. He sobbed in Amrins arms for a long time after that, allowing Armin to comfort him in a moment of vulnerability. Since that moment months ago neither has mentioned it, but it’s a well known fact among the 104th that anything that happens between Mikasa, Armin, and Eren will either be discussed by everyone or will end in a yelling match between Mikasa and Eren.   
Eren shook his head quickly, trying to clear it of thoughts and focus on what he should be doing, which is training. When his vision cleared he saw a huge tree less than a meter in front of him, he quickly tried to maneuver to the side but that failed and he hit the tree dead on. He gasped as the impact knocked the air out of his lungs and then plummeted to the ground from at least five meters. He landed on his arm and let out a blood curdling scream, he quickly bit down on his lip to quiet his screams and desperately tried to get air back into his lungs. Spots danced before his vision and he continued to hyperventilate until his breathing steadied. He sucked in a harsh breath before using his hands to push himself off the ground, he instantly regretted that because the moment he put any pressure on his right arm he let out another scream before cutting himself off. Eren tilted his head to the side to see what happened to his arm, his breath stuttered and then sped up. He had completely broken his arm, the jagged end of the bone stuck through his skin like a knife.

“Calm down, Eren, remember what Dad told you,” he muttered to himself, breath catching each time he looked at his own bone sticking through his elbow. 

“I’ll be found soon enough and they’ll get help-“ but he cut himself off, what would happen if he was found in this state? He wouldn’t be able to train for weeks, hell, months if it was bad enough. And it definitely looked bad enough. Tears streamed down his face and he couldn’t tell if they were from pain or from desperation. If I could find my way back to the Barracks, Eren thought, I could use a first aid kit and maybe hid this. He tried again to sit up, this time only using his left arm to push himself up and then scoot to the tree behind him. He leaned on that for a few minutes before he heard a sickening snap! come from his arm and his arm felt like it had just been twisted. He screamed again before sobbing, large tears fell from his eyes and he could barely see his mangled arm through the tears. He didn’t register the fact that steam was rising from his wounds and that his bone had snapped back into place. He unceremoniously slumped to the ground, unconscious without a person knowing where he is or what had happened to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin wanted to ask Eren so many questions about what had happened to him, but he knew he had to wait for Eren to tell him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured out how to do italics so yayyy and i’m trying to make these chapters long ish so dont expect multiple updates a week. there will probably only be 1-2 per week
> 
> also i’m going to start putting TW at the beginning of chapters so people know what they are about to read 
> 
> TW: a poorly described mild panic attack, slight descriptions of injuries

Reiner found Eren slumped on the ground up slightly against a tree, his eyes were closed, red and puffy and it looked like he’d been crying. His blades splayed on the ground in front of him and his gear appeared to be dented. _He should know better than to run off alone,_ Reiner thought. He went to grab Eren’s shoulder to wake him, but Eren startled awake, quickly pushing himself away from Reiner and hiding his right arm behind his back. 

“Whoa there, Eren, what happened?” Reiner asked, reaching forward again only to have Eren push himself further against the tree. Eren’s eyes widened and he tried to stutter out an excuse.

“What? Why would you think something had happened?” he responded with an awkward laugh, eyes darting around the scenery, looking anywhere besides Reiner. Reiner fixed him a glare. 

“Eren, we all heard you scream multiple times. It took us about 30 minutes to find you, but here I am” Reiner tried to assess the situation as Eren tried to calm down. He had no way of hiding his broken arm, if Reiner found out he’d be screwed. He could say goodbye to his dreams of joining the scouts and achieving his goal. Eren had no good ideas on how to get Reiner away, how is one supposed to explain a broken arm and have the most responsible person in the 104th not tell anyone?

“I, uh, didn’t scream. That must’ve been someone else or-“ Reiner cut him off.

“Don’t lie” Reiner responded bluntly, when Eren stared at the ground quietly Reiner’s patience ran out and he moved forward quickly and grabbed Eren’s right arm to pull him up. Eren braced himself for pain-

but it never came. Reiner gave him a weird look, but Eren decidedly ignored that and ripped his arm from Reiners grip and poked it. Nothing. No pain, no blood, no bone sticking out, it’s almost as if it had never happened at all.

“Eren, what the hell are you doing?” Reiner got more confused by the second. As far as he could tell nothing had happened to Eren that would’ve caused him to scream loud enough to be heard from almost a mile away. Eren continued to ignore him and instead poked and prodded his arm like he expected it to hurt.

“Did you say something?” Eren asked innocently, a shit-eating grin on his face as he looked up at Reiner. Internally Eren was panicking, in no way should he be healed in the 30 minutes between hitting the tree and Reiner finding him. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, F U C K,_ Eren was spiraling. Even that could be seen by Reiner who saw Jaeger’s breathing speed up and heard the unsteady breaths. He collapsed and kept working himself up further, _why can’t I breathe? Why won’t I calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down..._

“Hey, Eren?” Reiner tried to get a response from him, but that wasn’t working. Reiner grabbed both of Eren’s shoulders and shook him. Eren didn’t show any response until his eyes focused on Reiner. “Jaeger? You with me?” Eren nodded, sucking in a lungful of air and coughing harshly when he choked. Reiner breathed a sigh of relief.

“I didn’t know how I was going to explain to Mikasa that you’d died” Reiner nudged Eren’s shoulder and laughed quietly. Eren smiled at him with tired eyes and chuckled. Neither said anything for multiple minutes. Eren was still deep in his thoughts and Reiner was coming up with ideas about what could’ve happened to the young man beside him. “Ok, come on let’s get back to the barracks and we can get you checked out by someone.” Reiner lifted Eren back up and fiddled with his maneuvering gear. 

“Does my gear look functional to you?” Eren asked and whether it was sarcastic or genuine, Reiner couldn’t tell. Reiner looked at Eren’s gear and compared it to his own. Reiner grimaced for the conversion ahead of them.

“No, I’ll carry you back on my ODM gear” Eren clenched his jaw after hearing what Reiner had said. He was fine, completely fine even after seeing his arm get snapped in half, why couldn’t he just try to use his own gear? He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and nodded to Reiner, albeit reluctantly.

“But if anyone sees, I’ll kill you” Eren says, looking into Reiner’s eyes as if he could see all of the secrets and sins of his past. Reiner swallowed, throat suddenly tight, but quickly focused again and nodded. 

“Get on my back” Eren groaned when Reiner said that. “It’ll be more embarrassing for me than it will be for you” Reiner added; as if that pointless lie would make him feel any better about himself.  


Once Eren was secure on Reiner’s back and was finishing moping and groaning, they took off.

__________

“Where are they?” Mikasa harshly asked Ymir, agitated that it had been almost an hour without any news of what had happened to Eren or Reiner. Ymir glared and shoved Mikasa back.

“Get off my ass, how should I know where they are?” Ymir growled. 

When the group had heard a scream an hour ago Reiner had sent Ymir, Marco, and Jean back to the main training grounds to report to Shadis. Unfortunately, the other group had noticed the lack of one suicidal maniac. They had pelted the trio with questions about what had happened to Eren and Reiner, after almost an hour without any updates people were growing concerned. 

Sasha rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘dumbasses’ but no one commented on that. Armin continued ignoring everyone and paced back and forth, the sound of dirt crunching filled his ears. Of course, he was worried about his best friend, they’d been through the worst parts of their lives together. For Eren to be out there and potentially hurt, it scared Armin just as much as it did Mikasa. Armin ran a hand through his chin-length hair and exhaled shakily, he paused his pacing for a second when he heard- _wait was that ODM gear?_

He turned his head in the direction of the quiet noise and saw a bulky figure in the woods coming towards them.  
Reiner landed on the grass right outside of the forest they just exited and Eren jumped off his back as if it burned him. They walked in silence to the group of 104th cadets that were less than 500 feet away from them. Eren saw two figures running towards him and knew immediately it was Armin and Mikasa, a slight smile tugged at his lips, not realizing what was about to come. 

“EREN! Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere, what happened?” Mikasa shot question after question at Eren. She grabbed both of his shoulders and looked over him quickly and saw nothing out of the blue, no bruises or blood anywhere in obvious locations. When she turned his arm over she noticed a hole in the elbow of his jacket, and some blood had stained his jacket right around it. Although she was concerned she knew that public confrontations did nothing to get answers out of him. Eren snatched his arm away and glared.

“I’m fine, Mika” he ground out, “stop worrying over me.” _Do you think she noticed,_ Eren wondered. He looked over to Armin who stood awkwardly to the side, clearly not wanting to get in the way of the two siblings. Eren walked over, taking Mikasa with him by grabbing the cuff of her jacket and wrapped both his arms around Mikasa and Armin.

“Trust me, I’m fine,” he said in a serious voice. The youngest Jaeger hated the idea of his friends worried about him over nothing. He was fine, but no matter what he did he couldn’t get the image of his snapped elbow out of his head. The bone pushing through his skin, blood oozing from the wound, and the bruises starting to form…

“Hey, Eren? You sure you’re ok?” Armin asked after Eren had suddenly gripped him and Mikasa tighter. Armin grew more concerned after Eren didn’t respond for a few seconds, but he then nodded.

“I- I’m ok,” Eren answered softly. Mikasa and Armin shared a look, both knew that whatever had happened in the woods had a bigger effect on him than expected. 

“I’d hate to ruin the moment, but Shadis is coming now and I think it would be better for all of us if you guys ended the moment” Jean commented. Connie hit him in the side but didn’t actually say anything. Eren quickly let go of Armin and Mikasa and straightened himself out. 

“Anyone care to explain why I got a frantic cadet saying that some fuckhead had screamed bloody mary and no one knew where they were?” Shadis asked, deciding to skip the formalities and going straight to the point. Right before Reiner could respond Eren beat him to it.

“It was me, Sir, I had accidentally hit a bird midair and screamed when I realized I had killed it, Sir!” Eren scrambled to make an excuse up. A few people snickered quietly and then shut up real quickly after seeing Shadis’s glare. 

“Are you aware you are an idiot, Cadet?” Shadis yelled in Eren’s face. Eren’s patience was running thin, but deep down he knew he couldn’t say anything back.

“Yes, Sir” he responded dejectedly. Staring at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing around, just get through the embarrassment and you can investigate what happened, Eren thought, keep it together Jaeger. 

“Run laps till you pass out or the sun sets!” Shadis ordered. Eren could hear Mikasa gasp behind him and was about to say something, but Eren quickly interjected.

“Yes, Sir!” he saluted Instructor Shadis quickly and then took off running to the track around the training grounds.

____________

“He’s been running for hours…” Connie trailed off. After the incident earlier he had been running since almost ten in the morning, now it was four in the afternoon. Eren had slowed down considerably and everyone could tell he was hardly able to keep running, any moment now he would pass out or collapse. Since the cadets had finished their work and training 30 minutes earlier they had been monitoring the situation. Armin talked to Mikasa about how she couldn’t go out there and force Eren to stop running.

‘He’ll have to do it himself’ Armin had said, calming Mikasa and simultaneously getting himself to relax.

The group of teens were now watching their most determined friend continue to run laps as they stood on the small porch area of the boys’ barracks. Marco, Jean, and Connie stood in one corner talking loudly about whatever came to mind. Sasha and Mikasa quietly conversed. Sasha was doing most of the talking but both of them enjoyed each other’s company, it didn't matter if they were talking or not. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie watched Eren run in silence. Ymir and Krista held hands in the other corner of the porch and would laugh loudly occasionally. Armin sat in the entryway of the porch, he sat on the steps and watched Eren run laps silently.

He wanted to go up to Eren, grab his hand, and force him to go inside to lay down. He knew that wouldn’t happen though and would just put a strain on their relationship if anything. Armin wanted to ask Eren so many questions about what had happened to him, but he knew he had to wait for Eren to tell him. It hurt thinking that Eren could keep all his emotions bottled up, never telling anyone, but he couldn’t judge. I do the same thing, Armin scoffed. Sure, he had told Eren and Mikasa about his emotions and shit like that, but he never did it willingly. Normally Eren would force it out of him or Mikasa would quietly sit by him and say that he could do it at his own pace. All Armin wanted was for Eren to talk to him the same way Armin had. Eren had the self-destructive tendency to only show how he truly felt when it all became too much. He would either break down or yell about unimportant things and THEN break down in a storm of tears and snot. Armin knew it was dumb and that he should forget about ever getting Eren to talk to him about it, but his heart clenched at the idea of Eren having to deal with it alone. He remembered Eren’s face when Eren had hugged Armin and Mikasa. He looked so vulnerable and scared, to think that Eren could feel that way without saying anything to him hurt more than he’d like to admit. 

“Oi, guys! He dropped!” Connie yelled and pointed at Eren’s still form lying face down in the dirt only 20 feet from the small porch where the other cadets had been observing his progress. Armin jumped to his feet and sprinted over to Eren, Mikasa right behind him. The two of them grabbed Eren’s arms and threw them over their shoulders, his legs dragging slightly on the ground. Once they got inside Armin laid Eren on his bed, thanking Eren subconsciously for picking a bottom bunk. Mikasa ran off to get water and some bread while Armin sat on the far edge of the bed. After only a few minutes Eren groaned and Armin whipped his head around, surprised that he would be awake so soon after running for nearly 6 hours straight. _That’s my Eren,_ Armin thought, smiling slightly before focusing on Eren again.

“Are you ok?” Armin asked, trying his hardest to remain calm and not wrap him in a hug. 

“Of course I’m ok,” Eren said as he rolled his eyes and grinned slightly at the blonde, “I can run laps in my sleep.” Armin laughed and crawled across the bed to sit next to him instead of at the end of the bed. Mikasa came in a few seconds later with bread and water, shock wove its way across her face, but she quickly steeled herself again. She silently set the bread and water on the floor next to the bed and sat down on the edge closest to Eren.  
Sucking in a deep breath she faced him and asked the question Eren was praying she wouldn’t…

“So, Eren, what could’ve happened to cause your jacket to have a hole and bloodstains on the elbow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger folks


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren escalated things and now he has yet another encounter in the woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i must’ve rewritten this chapter like 5 times at least. i tried to make it decently long so here is 3000 words of garbage. i also dont know if this idea has been done before bc i’ve never seen it, but if it has been please tell me. i cant tell if i’m getting better or worse at writing lmao 
> 
> TW: slight mention of eren scratching his neck repeatedly (it left lines)
> 
> (i feel like this chapter is really ooc)

“So, Eren, what could’ve happened to cause your jacket to have a hole and bloodstains on the elbow?” Eren felt the blood rush out of his face and he paused for a second. He quickly rebounded though and put on a smile that wasn’t all fake, he was actually kind of excited to figure out what had really happened to him.

“Don’t you remember? I hit that bird midair right in the elbow and its beak punctured the jacket.” Mikasa raised an eyebrow after hearing that.

“So why is there blood, too?” She wanted to believe Eren, truly, she did want to believe him. _But when his story is so obviously a lie..._

“I hit the bird with my elbow and it got squished when I hit it and then, BAM! Blood on my elbow” Eren bullshitted his excuse, that was by far my worst lie, Eren thought. Armin and Mikasa were, coincidentally, thinking the same thing. Armin silently rolled his eyes and then lightly pat Eren on the cheek.

“That’s dumb, Eren” Mikasa said bluntly. Eren dramatically gasped and pretended to faint.

“NO! For I am a smart and brilliant man!” Eren said in a fake proper accent that he imagined was how people would talk in wall Sina. He laughed and then grabbed the cup of water and a small piece of bread. He gulped the water into his parched throat and shoved some of the bread into his mouth. “So good,” Eren groaned and then laid back down. Mikasa and Armin copied his movements, so all three of them were squished into a twin bed.

“Reminds me of before joining the Training Corps,” Armin commented, “when we had that small shack to sleep in with only one twin mattress in it.”

“And it reeked of mold and dead rodents” Eren said bitterly, he wasn’t as fond of those memories. It was a harsh life, all of them were glad to get out of that situation and into a better place. 

“Remember when we used to run around Shiganshina?” Mikasa asked, rubbing her scarf between her pointer finger and thumb.

“Eren would constantly start fights, but Mikasa would always be the one who ended them.” Armin wheezed, the fond memory of Eren pulling him up off the ground after fighting his bullies still fresh in his mind. 

Eren threw his hands over his face, “don’t bring that up” he said in a muffled voice. 

“Awwww, is the suicidal maniac embarrassed?” Jean interrupted the moment and glared at Eren and then blushed when he saw Mikasa. Eren parted his fingers slightly to see Jean peering down at the trio.

“Fuck off, Jean” Eren replied, way too tired to put up with his shit. Bertholdt walked in front of the bed and pulled back Jean. 

“It’s decently late, so Mikasa can you please head back to the girls’ barracks until we go to Mess Hall for dinner?” Bertholdt asked politely. Mikasa reluctantly nodded and stood up. 

“I’ll see you later.” She said to Eren and Armin, turning around quickly she walked out the door. Eren propped himself up and waved bye and then plopped back down on the bed, turning to face Armin directly. Armin blushed and faced the wall.

“Armin,” Eren grabbed a piece of Armin’s hair and tugged on it gently, “do you think Mikasa thinks I’m lying?” Eren asked. Armin didn’t know what to say, _of course we think you’re lying? We’ve known you since we were kids and you still suck at it,_ Armin thought. He couldn’t tell Eren that though.

“I’m sure she’s just nervous, we didn’t know what could’ve happened to you” Eren nodded and slammed his fist onto the bed.

“I’m so tired of her treating me like I’m some baby! I’m 15, I literally saved her from being kidnapped. Why does she continue to think so little of me?” Eren growled, trying to keep his voice moderately low so no one else could hear.

“Eren, she thinks the world of you, do you seriously not see the look in her eyes when you talk to her?” Armin pressed. He didn’t know how Eren could be so oblivious, after all these years and he still hasn’t picked up on her feelings for him. 

Eren rolled his eyes and punched Armin lightly in the side, “yea, yea, family has to stay together, I can’t die, I can’t join the Survey Corps. She’s told me all that a million times, of course I know her feelings”

_No, you clearly do not._ Armin sighed and slid off the bed and made his way over to the group of boys talking around a small table. 

“Ah, Arlert,” Jean said, “sorry about having to kick Mikasa out, but you know, rules and shit” 

Connie slapped the back of his neck, “HA! You don’t care about rules, you just didn’t wanna see her cuddling up to Eren!” Jean’s jaw dropped and he turned away steaming.

“I do not!” he yelled back and rolled, “she’s nice and all, but not my thing.” Connie wheezed and had to sit in one of the few chairs so he wouldn’t fall over.

“So then what is your thing?” Connie asked between laughs, wiping tears from his eyes as if this was the funniest thing he's heard all year. 

Jean shrugged, making eye contact with Marco for a split second and then looking back at the wall, “living I guess, getting into the Military Police.” That shut up everyone real quick. The chances of them all dying a painful death at a young age was quite high and paid a large toll on them. 

“What an absolute coward,” Eren said, “you’ll let hundreds of other people die just for the sake of yourself?” Eren glared at him.

“Of course I would! We all aren’t as willing to throw away our lives like you!” Jean yelled back. Eren walked up to him and grabbed a fist full of Jean’s hair and yanked it to the ground, successfully causing him to fall and end up on the floor. Eren placed his foot on Jean’s back, pinning him to the ground.

“Eren! Get off of him, what the hell?” Reiner yelled, but Eren ignored him.

“You know, Jean, I’m so tired of you always talking about the Military Police as if you have any reason to join. What have you seen? What have you done to deserve that life? I’ll answer: you’ve done nothing,” Eren’s voice cutting through the quiet, the temperature dropped as his voice took on a chilling tone, “you think I want to throw away my life? Fuck no, but I have revenge to get and people that I can still save.” Jean stilled and then pushed up, knocking Eren’s foot off his back and causing Eren to come crashing to the floor.

“You PIECE OF SHIT! I have every right to join the MPs, I’m tired of you thinking we all have to join the Survey Corps just because your mom got herself killed! Stop forcing us to join when it’s only your fault she’s dead!” Eren went dead silent, his breathing shallow and rapid. He got off the ground and stalked out of the barracks, turning around at the door he looked straight into Jean’s eye, tears starting to form in his own.

“Die.” he said between clenched teeth and then walked out. Jean stared at where Eren used to be and then looked at Armin.

“I- I swear I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to take it that far-“

“Save it, Jean.” Armin replied blankly. Marco cut in and grabbed Jean’s forearm and then dragging him away, Connie following.  
Leaving only Reiner, Bertholdt, and Armin around the table.

“I’ll go get him-“ Armin started saying and then rushed out the door, not bothering to finish his sentence. He didn’t see anyone around the area and ran around for a few minutes before having a good idea of where he could be.  
“C’mon Eren, where are you” Armin muttered.

_________

“Go get Annie, impromptu Warriors meeting” Reiner whispered to Bertholdt, they both discreetly left the small building and went in the direction of the girls’ barracks. Reiner left as well and went to where they would normally talk about such things. After a few minutes, Bertholdt showed up with an annoyed-looking Annie. 

“Why did you call this meeting?” Annie asked Reiner, she had been relaxing with the other girls and was enjoying it for once. 

“Something is up with Eren,” Reiner responded. 

“There’s always something up with him, what happened now?” She was tired and wanted to eat something, maybe go lie down.

“He’s just… weird, weirder than normal. When I went to look for him earlier he was passed out, but when I went to wake him up he jolted awake and then wouldn’t let me touch his arm. When I did touch his arm he seemed shocked that it was fine, something happened.” Reiner finished, staring at Annie and Bertholdt.

Bertholdt laughed and smiled, “it kinda reminds me of when I had first gotten hurt after inheriting the Colossal Titan.” He shook his head slightly and continued, “what do you two think might have happened… guys?” he questioned. 

“Bert, you’re a genius!” Reiner exclaimed.

“Hold on, the chances of him having a titan is tiny and even if he did, he would probably know.” Annie said blankly, Reiner sighed and looked at Bertholdt.

“But it’s a lead, he could’ve been the one to eat Marcel,” Reiner said seriously, Annie raised a brow and rolled her eyes.

“I highly, highly doubt that. He has very solid feelings about the titans and his mom’s death, you can’t fake those tears. Plus we’ve all seen him actually lie, he sucks ass.” Annie turned around and walked back in the direction of the girls’ barracks, but turned around after a few steps and glared at them. “Take care of this, I’ll leave this to you since it’s your idea,” and then stalked off into the night. 

“That went well?” Bertholdt commented, but it came out more like a question. Reiner nodded and grinned at Bertholdt.

“You’re smarter than you think,” he said, but continued more seriously, “although this plan isn’t well thought out, I think we could figure it out relatively easily. All we have to do is cut him and see what happens.” 

Bertholdt shrugged, “sounds fine to me,” and then went off back to the boys’ barracks. _Is this actually happening? It all came together so quickly and randomly,_ Reiner thought. He pushed those thoughts aside and jogged over to Bertholdt, together the two of them went back inside. 

__________

“EREN!” Armin called out again. Before he knew it, he was in front of the forest where they would train. The blonde sighed and continued in, praying that Eren wasn’t lost or doing dumb things that would get him in even more trouble.

__________

Eren was in the woods, running away from his friends and issues. Tears streamed from his eyes and his heart was pounding as he ran further into the woods. He wiped them away with his hand and continued running until he got his foot caught by a tree root. He came crashing to the ground and he pulled himself onto his knees, he pulled his hands into his chest and sobbed. He sobbed for his mom who he couldn’t save, his dad who disappeared after the fall of wall Maria, Armin’s family, Mikasa’s family. He only acted like a big shot so one would realize all the guilt he had for what had happened. The brunettes sobbing turned into pitiful whimpers after several minutes. He could feel his pulse racing and his eyes stung from the constant assault of tears. He heard a snap behind him and he spun around.  
“Who’s there?” he croaked out, voice still sore and tears still coming.

“It’s just me,” a soft voice said that Eren could recognize from anywhere. Armin stepped out of the bushes and trees and into the small clearing that Eren was currently kneeling in. Armin’s breath hitched when he saw Eren clearly, his eyes bloodshot, tears poured over his cheeks silently. Eren’s neck was red and had slight red lines as if his hands had been scratching it. Armin ran over to him and dropped to the ground in front of him, cupping Eren’s face in his hands and wiping away the tears. Eren broke down and threw his arms around Armin, face smushed in Armin's neck and dampening his shirt. Armin rubbed Eren’s back slowly and whispered to him nonsense that he hoped would cause Eren to calm down. 

Eren looked up at him, eyes that used to be bright and full of life now seemed dull and tired, “Is it my fault, Armin? For not saving her…” Armin shushed Eren by shoving Eren’s face back into his shoulder.

“No, don’t let anyone make you feel that way! It’s not your fault Eren, you were 10 years old!” Armin said angrily and quieted back down when he realized that wasn’t helping.  
“Eren, you can’t blame yourself for that-“

“But I can! It was my fault, I was right there in front of her, but I was too weak to pull her out,” Eren gripped Armin’s jacket like it was a lifeline and he sobbed harder, “you can’t tell me not to blame myself, when have you ever experienced that?” Eren said spitefully, instantly realizing his mistake. He pulled his face away from Armin and let go of his clothes.

“I didn’t mean that,” Eren sighed. Armin was shaking now too, he hadn’t thought of his family for a while and for a good reason. He buried those feelings down though and looked at Eren.

“It’s ok, I’m ok” he whispered, Eren nodded and wrapped Armin in another hug, but this time Armin hugged back. And if he cried a bit then so be it, eventually he felt Eren exhale a shaky breath and untangle himself from Armin.

“C’mon let’s go back it’s dark now, we’ve probably missed dinner.” He offered his hand to Armin and then pulled him off the ground and then tugged him in the direction of what he assumed was the barracks. After walking for a few minutes in silence listening to Eren’s occasional sniffles, Armin realized they were still holding hands. He blushed and looked over to the side making sure Eren didn’t see that, _why am I acting like this? It’s not like we like each other,_ Armin thought. He heard about relationships with two men, but it was hardly spoken of. The only time Armin had seen it was when two men were in an alley kissing, back when wall Maria was still standing.

“Armin, I think we’re lost,” Eren said awkwardly. Armin looked around and he could hardly make out the shapes of trees in the low light. He only then realized the sun had set, the only source of light was the moon now. “What do we do?” Eren asked.

“We should try and get back, we’ll be in so much trouble if we don’t and there’s probably bears around.” Armin responded, Eren’s jaw dropped.

“BEARS? I completely forgot we had issues besides titans,” Armin rolled his eyes after Eren said that. How Eren could go from sobbing and hyperventilating to joking around, Armin would never know. Armin focused back on the present and realized they were still holding hands, he almost fell when Eren surged forward. Dragging Armin behind him he sprinted to a medium-sized tree with the roots of it exposed and let go of Armin’s hand. Armin felt strangely hurt that Eren had let go of him and his hand felt cold now that it was exposed to the crisp air.

“Eren?” Armin asked hesitantly, Eren had run to the large roots that were above ground and sat down.

“Armin, we could sleep here!” Eren said excitedly, he always enjoyed being outside and especially with his friends. 

“I don’t know if that's such a good idea… we should keep walking back and find our way.” 

“We could do that and get even more lost or we could sleep against these roots and trees and find our way in the morning,” Eren said, slapping the slide of the tree as an example. 

“Eren, what if we completely lose our sense of direction?”

“Armin, what if we get eaten? Or kidnapped?” Eren countered, his smile growing bigger. 

“Eren,” Armin said in a chastising voice, he walked over and heaved Eren off the ground, “no.” Eren sighed and reluctantly agreed.

“Fine, but if we don’t find our way back it's your fault” he grumbled. 

They continued walking for a while, it must’ve been at least an hour since Eren proposed his idea to sleep in those tree roots, but neither kept track of time as they were too encaptured by the conversion. Even if it was all nonsense, Eren would become completely involved and Armin would stare at him as he yelled about anything and everything. We’re holding hands again, Armin’s mind supplied for him and he blushed. Why do I keep blushing? Armin internally questioned.

“Whoa dude, you ok? Your face is really red-“

“I’m fine!” Armin yelled and cut Eren off awkwardly. Eren rolled his eyes and kept walking, crossing his arms and ripping his hand out of the blonde’s grasp. The rest of the trip was even more awkward, walking in complete silence and only hearing the occasional rustle of bushes was decidedly not enjoyable. _Fuck, I made this weird, didn’t I?_ Eren thought, but his thoughts all ended when he saw a light up ahead.  
“Hey Armin you see that light too, right?” he whispered. Armin nodded and then Eren started sprinting over.

“Eren! Wait we don’t know what it could be!” Armin yelled and then ran after him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real, Eren commits triple homicide, and someone snitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is finally here ! i feel like it is super ooc but pretend it isn’t also its a kinda confusing chapter with all the time skips and setting changes (whoops sorry) 
> 
> i had to guess locations bc they literally didnt name any so i’m assuming they’re near trost ??
> 
> school has been chaotic recently so here’s my weekly chapter of: let’s project all my thoughts and issues onto some kids barely older than myself
> 
> TW: depictions of dead bodies, kidnapping, gun shot wound (just be aware)

“Eren! Wait we don’t know what it could be!” Armin yelled and then ran after him. Armin picked up the pace when he saw Eren disappear behind a wall of trees that a small amount of light peaked through. He paused right before he went past the tree and tried to listen, he could slightly hear voices that decidedly were not Erens’. Although every other second he could hear a voice very similar to Erens’. He saw a small space between the tree branches to look and then he saw something he would never forget…

Eren wasn’t having a good day, other than the fact that he sobbed for a minimum of an hour and then got lost in the woods with his best friend... it still wasn’t good. He just had to stumble in on a campground of a bunch of guys with guns, it wouldn’t have been an issue if they had let him leave.

“Heyyy, fellas? You seem to be busy, so I’ll just go…” He awkwardly tried to turn around and go back to Armin, but he hit the chest of a tall man and stumbled backward.

“What do we do with him?” The man that Eren had run into asked, in total there were four people. Three guys and a girl, each one armed with a gun and probably concealed knives. 

“I don’t fucking know, let’s just kill ‘em,” another guy responded. Eren started internally panicking and did the only thing he could think to do, punch someone. He bounced on his heels and used the form Annie had taught him, he quickly hit the first man in the jaw and dipped to the side of him. Eren sprinted to the trees that he assumed he had come from. Armin jumped out of the trees as soon as Eren was running, neither could dodge the other in time and they collided. Smacking each other in the temple and crashing to the ground. Armin and Eren dropped to the ground. Armin was silent and unmoving, but Eren was groaning and holding his head. He slowly pushed himself off the ground and almost tipped over, but steadied himself and got in the fighting stance again. This time in front of Armin’s unconscious body.

“F- Fuck off,” Eren stuttered. His headache was increasing and his vision was getting increasingly blurred. The people laughed and one went up to Eren and pushed him over.

“This ones got some fight, eh?” The man laughed. Eren’s eyes slowly closed and the last thing he saw was Armin’s body next to his.

___________

“Think we could take these kids to the underground?” A woman's voice asked. Eren shifted slightly and cracked his eyes open. Armin was laying on his side, eyes still closed and blonde hair splayed on the wooden floor of what Eren guessed was a wagon. Eren laid there for a few minutes listening to their captors talking and trying to regain his senses. _All I need to find is a weapon of some sort, that way I can get Armin and me out of here,_ he thought. He glanced up at the sky and found the sunrise had started, painting the sky shades of pink and yellow. He also noticed his legs were tied together with rope, but not his hands. _This’ll be easy, they must be amateurs,_ Eren thought confidently.

“Are they both unconscious still?” Someone asked, a man grunted in response.

“Think so…” he trailed off. The wagon hit a bump and Eren smacked his head on the floorboards, he bit his lower so he didn’t yell and tears came to his eyes. _If I can catch them off guard then I could take control of the cart and get back to the training grounds,_ Eren thought. Armin stirred awake and groaned. All heads turned their way and Eren mentally sighed. 

“They are awake clearly.” The woman said and rolled her eyes, Eren bared his teeth.

“FUCK YOU!” he shouted. He started struggling in his restraints and Armin watched him with wide eyes. Eren stopped when he heard a gun cock and a cold sensation under his rib cage. Eren looked down and saw a shotgun jammed into his stomach.

“Shut up or I’ll kill you right here” the man said who was holding the gun. Eren shuddered and looked up defiantly.

“Do it, pussy” he replied. Eren was trying to smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. The man sighed and lowered his gun, but that opening gave Eren the perfect time to attack. He reeled his head back and slammed it into the man's head. Both dropped to the ground, but Eren recovered quickly and hopped over to the man's body. He grabbed the gun and pointed it at the people, his and Armins captors also had guns pointed at them.

“Why don’t we all just calm down and come to an agreement, there’s no point in killing each other,” Armin tried to reason with a small smile. Eren searched the man's pockets for a knife and he cut his legs out of the rope and then did the same to Armin. After successfully cutting Armin out Eren wasted no time and shot at them, but missed horribly. 

The woman grabbed her gun and shot at Eren’s chest, hitting the mark. The kidnappers stared at them and started talking between themselves, assuming they would be able to grab Armin if he ran. 

Armin wasn’t paying attention to any of them, his focus was entirely on Eren in his arms. Blood seeped through Eren’s shirt where he got shot and tears fell down Armin’s cheeks. All of a sudden the sound of electricity filled the space and Armin looked around, 

then he saw it.

Electricity danced on Eren’s chest and loudened. Armin had the common sense to jump out of the cart and sprint to a tree. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the kidnappers jump out and run as well, clearly noticing the noise. A huge bolt of lightning came from the sky and hit the cart. Armin’s jaw dropped. Where Eren’s bloody body used to be stood a 15-meter class titan. Brown hair down to its shoulders and muscles lined its arms and legs. Armin stepped out from the tree and gaped.

“Eren?” Armin asked, the titan swiveled its head to Armin and crouched down. “This cannot be happening. No, no, nonononono! I’m dreaming, this is all a terrible dream and I’ll wake up any second!” Armin yelled and smacked himself, hard. The titan tilted its head and reached forward to pick up Armin. _Not a dream clearly,_ Armin thought bitterly. He screamed and ran down the small dirt road they were on. He felt the ground beneath him disappear and was lifted into the sky, only feet away from the massive titan’s face. It breathed in his face and he gagged.

“Eren? Are you in there?” Armin asked, he felt stupid for ever thinking that titan could be Eren. But the titan responded by licking Armin and grunting. Armin decided to try something again. “Eren, can you put me down?” He asked. The titan set Armin on the ground and roared for seemingly no reason in particular. Armin felt all the air leave his body. _Holy shit, that’s Eren. Eren is a titan,_ Armin's thoughts went a million miles per second. He laughed hysterically and sat on the grass, heart pounding. The cart and people were demolished, they were in the middle of who knows where, Eren was a titan. Three issues that Armin had to deal with. The sun was still only just beginning to rise, so he hoped no one would be around to see Eren like this. 

Armin walked up to the cart and threw up once he saw the carnage. Two of their kidnappers didn’t run away when Eren had started flickering with electricity, so when he transformed he smashed them. The mangled bodies of two people were still on the cart, burned and bloody. The remaining body was thrown from the cart. It had its neck and arms bent at a 90-degree angle and its eyes stared at the ground, lifeless. We are screwed. If anyone finds out about this we are dead, Armin panicked.  
He didn’t seem to remember that there were four kidnappers and only three bodies. He had forgotten about the kidnapper that was able to get away in time.  
Then an idea popped into his head.

“Hey, Eren!” He yelled at the titan, Eren’s titan looked at him as if he was ready to take orders. “Can you dig a hole?” Armin asked. He was praying Eren in titan form would still be able to understand complex questions. Eren seemed to mostly understand, so he ripped dirt and grass out of the ground, leaving a hole that was about 2 meters by 2 meters. Armin mentally prepared himself to lift the corpses into the hole, but after grabbing one of the dead bodies and its guts getting on himself he decided not to. Instead, he was hoping Eren could do this task for him as well.

He knew it was selfish, he knew he should man up and do it himself- but he couldn’t. He didn't like the fact that he had seen dead bodies at the age of ten, he repressed those memories for years. Seeing all this though, it brought him back to those. He gagged again and dropped onto his knees, dry heaving onto the grass. He remembered when he saw his first dead body.

It happened during the fall of Shiganshina...

**_He was running with his grandpa to the boat that was going to leave for Wall Rose. Titans surrounded the area, smoke rose from houses and the screams of innocent people being killed filled the air. He had stumbled over something and when he turned back to look his eyes widened. He had tripped over the arm of a dead woman. Not even a full woman at this point. Only her upper body remained in tack. Eyes stared at the sky. His grandfather pulled his arm and dragged him away from the body. As they continued moving more bodies would show up, missing limbs and covered in blood. Guts were strewn across their bodies and the ground painting the stones red._ **

**_Armin had always known about titans and what they did, he just never expected it to be this bad._ **

He came back to the present to see Eren still in titan form looking at him expectantly. Armin weakly said, “lift the bodies into the hole and cover it in dirt.” He didn’t have the mental capacity to be amazed when Eren did just that. After that Eren sat on the ground, mirroring Armin. The sky was still pink and yellow, meaning it wasn’t even 7 yet.  
Suddenly, a loud crash came from the side where Eren’s titan form was now laying face-first into the ground. A burst of steam came from the nape of Eren’s titan and a body came out of it, specifically, Eren. Armin stumbled over to it and shoved his arms under Eren’s armpits, tugging him out of the fleshy nape that was connected to him. Eren was so hot that it burned Armin to touch his skin directly, but after a few more pulls Eren finally came out of the nape fully. They tumbled down to the grass. Eren’s titan was quickly evaporating and it was making the smell of burnt and rotten flesh increase tenfold. Armin cradled Eren in his chest, he shoved his head into Eren's chest and listened for the sound of his heart still beating. Armin breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he heard the familiar sound in Eren’s ribcage. 

Although Armin wanted to get his way back to the training ground he didn't know how he would be able to do that. He had to wait for Eren to regain consciousness to begin to find their way back. Armin dragged Eren back towards a tree and Armin propped himself against it. Then he placed Eren so he was in between Armin’s legs, head resting on his chest. Armin dozed off, cheek pressed against Eren’s hair. _This is the most peaceful I’ve seen him in a while…_

SOMEWHERE IN TROST DISTRICT —

A woman ran through the crowds of people on the streets at eight in the morning, looking around for anyone who resembled a soldier. Her heart pounded as her eyes darted around from place to place. She thanked whatever god out there that she had driven the cart close enough to be able to get to Trost District on foot. Her hands still trembled after that encounter. She was a strong woman; grew up in the Underground and fought her way out. Never in her life has she seen anything like a kid transforming into a titan. She shuddered and quickly focused when she saw the green capes of Survey Corps members. She followed them until she couldn’t see them anywhere, she spun around multiple times before getting kicked to the ground. A sword was thrust at her throat and she looked up at a short man with silver eyes and an undercut. 

“Why are you following us?” he asked harshly. She only then noticed the other person behind him. They had brown hair up in a messy ponytail and glasses. 

“I have something to report,” she responded as confidently as she could. The two scouts shared a look and then the short man nodded at her to continue. “I was in the woods and me and my friends found some kids, so we obviously were concerned because they were alone at night in a huge forest. We told them that we could take them to Trost District and they agreed, so after a couple of hours of driving a wagon, we were about two to three miles away. One of the kids got hurt somehow and transformed into a titan. Yea, you heard me right: a titan.” She knew she was lying through her teeth about the backstory, but it’s not like she could say ‘I kidnapped two kids’. She prayed they would buy the story and finished speaking. The scouts stared at her in silence before all hell broke loose.

“You’re crazy, lady! How stupid do you think we are?”

“Tell me all about it! What did it look like? How did it transform?” the person with long hair pushed the short man out of the way and shook her shoulders. A huge smile on their face and they asked her question after question. “Where are my manners?! I’m Hange Zoë and this short angry man is Levi Ackerman! Humanity's strongest soldier!” Hange said with a teasing grin, their arm lifted in a 70-degree angle flexing. Levi rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“I’m Lena,” the woman responded curtly. She still didn’t trust these people. 

“What did the kids look like?” Levi asked. 

“Uh, both looked about 14 and one had shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes. The other had short brown hair and green eyes, his skin was tanner too. The brown-haired one turned into the titan because the blonde ran away.” Lena replied, she didn’t know why she was snitching on some kids. Call it revenge.

“Clothes?” Hange perked up.

“I don’t remember well, both had brown cropped jackets though.” She responded. Hange seemed to perk up more.

“They could be in the training corps, I’m pretty sure the training grounds are only about 20 miles out of Trost,” Hange said excitedly to Levi. Levi stared at them tiredly.

He sighed, “How do we know you aren’t lying to get us out of Trost and then kill us?” 

“What!? Ignore him, Lena, we believe you.” Hange butt in and elbowed Levi in the temple. He promptly responded by kicking them in the leg. 

He sighed and pinched his brow, “how long ago did you find them and when did you get here?”

“I found them probably around one to two in the morning, or I guess night… Whatever, we waited about 30 minutes and then got in the wagon to drive to Trost. After we drove for about two and a half hours we got a few miles from Trost. That’s when the kid got hurt and turned into a titan, that was at about six in the morning. I walked the last few miles on foot, taking breaks occasionally. Since it’s about eight I probably wandered for two or so hours.” Lena explained. 

_Well, her explanation seems to make sense, but something isn’t fitting here,_ Levi thought bitterly. “I’ll get Erwin’s permission to check this out, Hange come with me. Lena, go eat somewhere. We’ll find you.” 

“Levi, you’re the best! Let’s go!” Hange yelled, looping their arm around Levi’s shoulders. 

ON THE ROAD TO TROST, NEAR A FOREST —

Eren woke up feeling hot and confused. He felt arms around him, so he shifted slightly and saw Armin’s blonde hair and cheek pressed into Eren’s head. Eren smiled and started playing with a strand of Armin’s hair until he woke up, it didn't take too long. Armin saw him awake and then tightened his grip on Eren, pulling him into his chest more. 

“What do you remember?” Armin asked softly. 

“Not much, getting shot, and then something happened. I can’t remember what though,” Eren replied, “Why? Did I do something wrong? It doesn’t matter if I got shot, all that matters is that I’m fine!” 

Armin sighed. He should’ve known Eren wouldn’t remember and that he would get defensive about being shot because to him, worrying his friends is a fate worse than death. He peered over Eren’s head to see blood still staining Eren’s shirt, but the skin underneath it was smooth. Not even a scar was left.

“Eren I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just get to the point: you transformed into a titan.” Armin said blankly. He felt Eren stiffen and then rip himself out of Armin’s arms. 

“You’re lying,” Eren deadpanned. He refused to be the monster he has set out to destroy from the start. Armin looked at him pitifully and Eren clenched his fists, body shaking. 

“You’re lying, right?” Eren whispered, tears shimmering in his eyes. Armin shook his head slightly. 

Armin knew he should tell Eren about the people he’d killed, just rip off the bandaid. But after seeing the look on Eren’s face— he wasn’t making any noise as tears slipped out of his eyes and landed on the grass— he decided he wouldn’t do that to Eren’s already fragile mental state. Eren’s breathing grew rapid and he stood up pacing back and forth before punching a tree. He whimpered and clutched his hand to his chest. Armin started walking over to him but stopped when Eren started whispering something. 

“I just want my mother back…” Eren was muttering to himself. That statement finally broke Armin’s composure and he rushed forward to Eren, gathering him in his arms.  
And for the second time in the past 12 hours, Eren sobbed in Armin’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this is so confusing i’m sorry (again) if you want to drop questions in the comments i will gladly answer them :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone thinks they’re dating except themselves, Eren and Armin take the phrase ‘be gay, do crime’ too seriously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i replace ‘god’ with ‘walls’ in this fic bc it’s funny to me, i dont know if this is considered early or late but its a pretty long chap so enjoy ?? also the oc ‘lena’ isn’t a major component to the story so she wont have a description abt what she looks like (you’re free to imagine her however you like)
> 
> (i think i forgot to do a TW for a few chaps i’m sorry)
> 
> TW: blood/death mentions, stealing (could that be considered a trigger ?)

Armin rubbed Eren’s back soothingly and tried to get him to calm down. As much as Armin wanted Eren to be able to feel this out, he knew that they had to start finding their way to the training grounds. _He’ll just have to suck it up,_ Armin thought and immediately felt bad, cringing slightly. He didn’t want to do this, no one wanted to listen to their best friend quietly sob and mutter stuff about their dead mom _and then_ force them to get up and start walking, but he had to. For the sake of keeping whatever happened during the past 12 hours a secret. 

Armin reluctantly stopped rubbing Eren’s back and whispered. “C’mon Eren, let’s go.”

Eren nodded and shakily stood up, tears still leaking out of his eyes. Armin grabbed his hand and started dragging him along the side of the road. Armin stared forward, too scared to see the look on Eren’s face if he turned back.

For the next 30 minutes, they trudged on. Armin continued to take the initiative and led Eren along the path. Eren, during those 30 minutes, had considerably calmed down. His soft whimpers turned to sniffles and him clenching Armin's hand like it was the only thing keeping him sane. Maybe it was. Eventually, they got to the gates of Trost District. 

When they walked in they immediately got weird looks. Armin glanced back at Eren to realize that both of them were covered in blood.

“Eren, take off your jacket and shirt.” Armin said, Eren paused and gave him an incredulous look. “Please?” Armin begged.

“Fine, don’t get too distracted by my devilishly good looks though.” Eren replied teasingly, trying to shake the jitteriness out of his body. 

It was at this moment that Armin realized something was off about Eren. His eyes racked over Erens body as Eren took off his shirt and jacket, then glanced at Armin. Armin felt the blood rush out of his face.

“Eren? What happened to your face?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” Eren asked, worried. Armin quickly looked around them and then grabbed Eren’s forearm, running to the nearest alley.

“Don’t freak out- I just said don’t freak out,” Armin sighed. Eren had started to clench and unclench his fists, his signature sign that he was about to freak out. Armin grabbed Eren's hands and curled their fingers together. He then lifted the back of Eren’s hand to his cheek, right below his eyes. Eren realized it too. He ripped his hand out of Armin’s hand and pushed underneath his eye, feelings the ridges that decidedly were not there before.

“What the fuck, what the fuck are those things I feel, Armin?” Eren asked hurriedly. Armin was at a loss, he didn’t know. He practically passed out right after getting Eren out of his titan, and the past hour or so have been chaotic. He easily could’ve missed seeing those marks on Eren’s face. 

“That can wait, what need is to find a shirt and hat for you. I didn’t get hardly any blood on my shirt, but I had to ditch the Training Corps jacket so I’ll be fine. Just keep your head down.” Armin quickly put it together. Eren still looked apprehensive though. 

“Do you trust me?” Armin asked innocently. 

Eren rolled his eyes and shoved Armin playfully, “of course I trust you.” 

“Great, let’s go.” Armin peeked his head out of the alley and looked around for any clothes they could steal. He wrapped his arm around Eren and whispered, “I’ll lead you, just look at the ground in front of you.” Eren nodded slightly in response.

Armin saw a shirt only about 20 feet in front of them on a clothes rack. Running forward and muttering a short ‘sorry’ he ripped the shirt off the rack and shoved it into Eren’s arms. Eren wasted no time in putting it on. Slipping it over his slim, but still muscular, body. Armin then looked for a hat and saw none except on people’s heads. 

“Pretend to fall over and get hurt in front of that man.” Armin said, pointing to a random man in a hat. 

“That’s humiliating, I’m not doing that!” Eren whisper-yelled. 

“Would you rather get questioned by the military police after being found out?” Armin countered. Eren groaned and slapped a hand over his face. He shook Armin’s arm off his shoulders and flipped him off behind his back as he walked over to their target. 

_I feel like an idiot,_ Eren seethed inwardly. Once he was in front of the man he pretended to trip and fall. He prayed this man would rise to the bait, so Armin could grab his hat.

“Son, are you alright?” The man asked worriedly. Eren had to stifle a laugh and pretended to groan.

“My leg hurts…” Eren trailed off. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Armin break into a sprint and come barreling into them, knocking the hat off of the man’s head. After Armin grabbed the hat, Eren grabbed Armin’s arm and pulled him in the opposite direction. 

“Hey! Give me my hat back!” The man yelled after them.

“Sorry, sir!” Armin called back. They ran to a random tavern and barreled in. The door slamming on the wall and the room went deadly silent. Armin and Eren pulled themselves together and walked up to the bar. 

“We don’t serve minors.” The bartender said roughly. 

Armin flushed and stuttered, “O- oh we aren’t here to drink. We’re wondering where the Military training grounds are.”

The bartender raised a brow, “from my limited knowledge that’s about 20 miles west of here,” he replied. Eren sighed and slammed his hands on the bar, then forcefully pulled Armin out of the Tavern.

Eren whirled around to face Armin once they were outside, “Let’s steal a wagon and some horses.”  
Armin blanched. A shirt and hat were one thing, but an entire wagon and horse? That’s a whole other story.

“I don’t think that's such a good idea. I’m sure there are other options,” Armin calmly responded. Eren grumbled and ran up to the next person.

“Excuse me, but what time is it?” 

“About 9:30.”

Eren paled but quickly recovered. “Thank you!” He jogged back over to Armin and repeated the time to make sure Armin knew.

“Oh Walls…” Armin whined. The 104th definitely knew by now they were missing, probably already told Shadis. “Fine, but-“

“YESSSS!” Eren interrupted excitedly. Armin cut in.

“but, we will never talk about this again and I’m not doing the stealing part. Your idea means you get to do it yourself,” he said while crossing his arms. Armin knew that was selfish, but at this point, he didn't care. 

“You got it! Go outside of the gate to Trost and I’ll get you!” Eren grinned before kissing Armin’s forehead and running to where he saw wagons earlier. 

Armin blushed furiously and quickly turned around, heart beating out of his chest. He walked over and out of the gate and leaned up against the wall. Luckily the Garrison Regiment was nowhere to be found, so he could do it. _Eren please don’t do anything too crazy,_ Armin thought. 

Eren ran to the nearest wagon with horses still attached and pretended to pet the horse as he looked to see if anyone was around. Once he knew no one was looking at him, he grabbed the reins that were tied around a post. He led the horse and wagon onto the side of the main street, then he quickly jumped on the wagon.

“Wait, I don’t even know how to drive a wagon,” Eren muttered to himself. He hopped off the wagon and detached the horse. He had learned how to ride a horse in training, so he hoped Armin would be fine with this arrangement. He swung himself onto the horse and was about to take off when he heard a voice yell.

“That’s my horse dipshit! Get off of it!” A man yelled behind him.

Eren turned around with a shit-eating grin, “sorry, but kindly, fuck off.” Eren laughed and squeezed his legs, signaling the horse to move. The horse took off and the hat fell off his head as the wind picked up. He continued quickly until he was past the gate and stopped abruptly in front of Armin. 

“What happened to the wagon?” Armin screeched.

“Believe it or not, I don’t know how to drive a wagon…” Eren said sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Then why would your own idea have an impossible component to it?” Armin asked. 

“Does that really matter?” Eren whined, but then realized the situation they were in, “just get on, some guy saw me stealing this horse.”

Armin gaped, but grasped Eren’s hand and pulled himself up onto the horse. “You better not get us in trouble.”

“With the Eren Jaeger? No way!” Eren snickered and then pulled the horse's reins. They took off and Armin quickly put his arms around Eren’s middle to make sure he wouldn’t fall off.

“This should take us about an hour if we keep going at this pace!” Armin yelled so Eren could hear him over the wind. 

“Then we should get there at about 11!” Eren yelled back. Armin pressed his face into Eren’s back and nodded, arms tightening. Armin stayed in that position for who knows how long before he felt Eren stiffen under his grasp and the horse came to a stop. He raised his head and saw what had bothered Eren; the remains of the cart Eren had smashed stood out in the center of the dirt road, but what stood out more was the blood.  
“Did, “ Eren sucked in a harsh breath, “did I do that?” 

“I was going to tell you I promise, but-“ 

“Did I do that?” Eren asked again, voice rough and sharp. Armin was a loss for words.

“yes,” Armin replied softly. He felt Eren’s body tremble and then the horse moved again. Armin went back to laying his cheek on Eren’s back and looped his arms back around Eren’s torso. 

“Let’s get going again.” Eren muttered. Armin squeezed him tighter, hoping that could help. 

They continued down the worn dirt road. 

___________

“C’mon Erwin, let us go check this lead out. It’s not like we have any expeditions today. We’ll be gone for a few hours max” Hange pleaded, Levi a few feet away from them. If Levi was being truly honest, he wanted to go check this story out as much as Hange did. He wanted to know if this random lady was full of shit or not.

“Erwin,” Levi injected, “if this lead doesn’t show us anything beneficial we’ll come straight back.” Erwin sighed and dismissed them with a flick of the wrist.

“YES! Thank you, Erwin! You won’t regret this decision, I have a good feeling about this,” Hange shouted then ran out the door. Levi groaned and walked out of the room as well, eyeing Erwin one last time before stepping out. He caught up to them quickly and saw them talking to Moblit excitedly, rushing around the room gathering pens and papers. They turned around to see Levi leaning against the doorframe.

“Ready?” he asked. Hange nodded and quickly said bye to Moblit before rushing out the small office space. Levi jogged after them and once he caught up, grabbed their wrist. 

“Wait, we have to grab that Lela girl.”

“You mean Lena?” Hange corrected.

“Yea, sure, whatever. Go get her, I’ll get the horses for us.” Levi said. Hange gave him a thumbs up and rushed over to where they had left Lena an hour ago. _I didn’t think it would take that long to talk to Erwin and then get his permission,_ Levi thought. 

Levi raised his hand to his horse and let it sniff it for a second and then pet its mane. Fingers running through the soft chestnut-colored hair. He took it out of the small stable they had in Trost District and along with two other horses for Hange and Lena. He led them over to the side of the main street and waited for Hange to return. 

“Garrison shitheads don’t even care! I got my horse stolen from me over half an hour ago by some kid and the Garrison said to wait a day! Can you believe those idiots? I’m never getting that horse back…” a man yelled down the street to another man, catching the attention of Levi. Since he didn’t see Hange around he decided to go see what was happening.

“What’s the issue here?” Levi asked bluntly. The men startled, they hadn’t seen Levi come up to them. 

“You are in the military, right?” the man asked, Levi nodded in response, “some kid stole my horse half an hour ago and left Trost. What do I do to get that back?”

“What did the kid look like?” Levi asked.

“I couldn’t tell much, but he was wearing a black shirt and white-ish pants. He was wearing this hat too, but he had short brown hair and green eyes, I think.” The man held out a straw hat to Levi. _Not to jump to conclusions, but could this kid be the same one Lena was talking about…_

“I’ll look into it,” Levi said and shook himself out of his thoughts. He clutched the hat and walked back over to the horses, but now Hange and Lena were there too.  
He tossed the hat at Hange who scrambled to catch it and turned to Lena, “that’s a possible lead. The kid you talked about might’ve just been here.” 

“Really? That’s surprising, how do you know?” Lena asked.

“Some kid with brown hair and possibly green eyes stole a horse and then left Trost District. It might be a reach, but it’s the best we got.” Levi said. Hange somehow looked more excited and Lena just looked tired. 

“Let’s go, folks!” Hange yelled and swung themself onto their horse, Levi doing the same. Lena heaved herself up and then they were off.

____________

“Hey, Eren?” Armin said into Eren’s back.

“Yea?”

“What’s going to be our excuse for all this?”

Eren sighed, running a hand through his hair and then over his face. “I don’t know, let’s just say we got lost in the woods.”

“For over 12 hours?” Armin questioned.

“Yes? Look, Armin, I know you normally think things out and stuff… but we don't have the time for that. We’ll probably be there in about 10 minutes, so the best option is to lie and then hope it works.”

Armin didn’t like this plan of Eren’s, but he didn’t have any better ideas. “Fine, but what about Mikasa?” Armin asked and Eren blanched then tried to speed up the horse, but the poor thing was exhausted. 

“Fuck, she’ll see right through us.” Eren groaned. Armin seemed to disappear in his mind as he thought through possible excuses. 

After a few minutes in silence, they pulled to a stop and Eren unwrapped Armin’s arms around his body, then slid off the horse. Armin mimicked his action and got off the horse. Eren tied the bridle to a tree and turned down the dusty dirt road, assuming Armin was following. 

“If they ask why you have no jacket say it got ripped along with your shirt, and if they ask how you got another shirt just say someone let you have it. Got it?” Armin said. Eren nodded.

“This is going to suck for a while, isn’t it?” Eren grumbled and bumped Armin’s shoulder with his own. Armin laughed at Eren’s antics.

“Yea, but we could try and figure more out about your titan powers. It could be really useful to taking back Wall Maria and maybe going back home.” Eren smiled after Armin said that.

“Oh my fucking walls, how did you think of that before me?! We could go out there secretly when we join the Survey Corps and kill the titans, like, in secret!” Eren exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his arms. 

“You really think we could sneak out of Wall Rose?” Armin asked pointedly. Eren shrugged. 

“Maybe. We have one titan and one skilled plan maker, what could go wrong?” Eren said. Armin would never get tired of this, seeing Eren excited again was a nice change of pace after the past day. 

Armin huffed, “maybe…”

“Hey! Look we’re here!” Eren yelled and ran up the slight hill. He could see the training grounds only a couple hundred feet away. Little figures stood around the grounds, blissfully ignorant of the storm that was about to come once Eren and Armin returned. “Bet you a piece of bread that I can beat you there,” Eren boasted. 

Armin knew he couldn’t beat him, but played along, “oh you are on!” Armin ran past Eren quickly, trying to get the upper hand, but Eren shortly passed him. Eren turned his face and stuck his tongue out at Armin, then continued his sprint. _Good, his face markings are gone. That could’ve been a problem,_ Armin thought. He got to Eren only a minute after him. Eren had waited at the boundary of the training grounds, wringing his hands. 

“Nervous?” Armin asked. 

Eren pulled his eyes away from the grounds and glared at Armin, “Scared? Me? As if.” 

“Whatever you say… C’mon, let’s go back to everyone.” Armin started walking and was actually surprised by the lack of people around. They were probably doing a drill or lesson, so it made sense. 

The pair turned a corner and- _oh, so that’s where everyone is._

All eyes turned to them as they walked in on the 104th cadets in the middle of doing a hardcore fitness drill. 

“Hey, guys?” Eren said, but it came out more like a question. Mikasa jumped up and ran to Eren and Armin, throwing herself in Eren’s arms. Armin backed up to give them some space and Eren squeezed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. She peeked her head over Eren’s shoulder and gestured for Armin to come over. Once he was within arms length she grabbed and pulled him into their group hug.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Mikasa sighed and leaned into them. Quickly she shook herself out of their grasp. She was never one for unneeded touch, but both boys knew she needed that. Suddenly, she slapped both of them on the cheek. 

“What was that for!?” Eren exclaimed.

“That was for being dumb and worrying all of us,” she replied calmly. A mixture of worry, sadness, and anger burning just below the surface of Mikasa’s collected exterior.  
The rest of the cadets watched the interaction until Shadis interrupted. 

“I’d hate to ruin the moment,” he said sarcastically, “but can dumbass and blondie come with me? I have some questions I’m sure they are _dying_ to answer.”

Armin gulped and silently followed Shadis, Eren flipped him off when his back was turned and then copied Armin. Shadis took them to a small room that they assumed was his office area. 

“Explanations, now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren swears a lot bc i said so  
> i feel like eren is the type of person to go from happy to angry/sad in an instant but getting his character right is kinda hard (same with mikasa) i’m better with eren tho bc i kin him so much


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is just a filler chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this chapter but i’m back after my week long disappearance. i got the aot manga and read it and then caught up to the current chapter, so i guess writing this was my way of coping. the manga killed me too i didnt have much motivation but i’m back now !!
> 
> have i said i hate this chapter? bc i do, BUT next one will be a time skip to the end of training bc i want to get to the trost arc (is that the name ?) (my beta didnt even read this bc its 3 in the morning so watch out for spelling mistakes)
> 
> TW: mentions of blood, dead bodies, kidnapping

“Explanations, now.”

Armin and Eren sent each other a quick glance. 

“So basically-“

“We-“ 

Shadis rolled his eyes, “one at a time, please.” Armin decided to take the initiative and he knew he would do a better job than Eren.

“Eren ran out of the boys’ Barracks last night and so I went after him, but I couldn’t find him for a while. Once I did, it was dark and so instead of wandering around we decided to just make a little camp and sleep in the woods. We woke up and then found our way back. It’s a pretty basic story, we didn't get here that late too, it's only 11-ish.” Armin summarized, Eren was always shocked by how smoothly Armin could lie and manipulate the people around him. Everyone saw Armin as the innocent one, but in reality Armin was the one who had done the most illegal things as kids.

Shadis shrugged, “sounds like a dumbass move, but it’s your training, not mine. Just remember that you guys are going to be graduating soon and all training counts.”

Eren jumped into the conversation, “sorry Instructor Shadis, we won’t do it again. Let’s go Armin.”

“Thanks, bye!” Armin called to Shadis, chasing after Eren. He quickly caught up to him. “That went well, we really should’ve assumed he wouldn’t care.”

Eren laughed slightly, “Yeah, we were honestly freaking out over nothing. It’s not like there’s any evidence of us doing anything wrong, well besides that smashed cart… BUT it’ll turn out fine!” 

“Yep” Armin responded, popping the ‘p’. They walked towards the group of cadets still doing fitness drills. Everyone turned to them and for an awkward minute they just stared at each other.

“Sooo,” Eren started saying and Armin internally died, “what’s up?” 

“What’s up? That’s seriously all you’re gonna say? You can't just run out of the boys’ barracks and then go missing for over 12 hours!” Jean yelled and then whispered the last part, “why can’t you get it through your thick skull that we _care about you…_ ” 

Sasha ran up to Eren and Armin and hugged them tightly, muttering “fucking dumbasses” under her breath. Eren shakes her off of him and steps back, leaving Armin still in her embrace.

“We really are fine, guys. You don’t have to worry.” He said calmly and then pat Sasha’s arm to signal to her that she can get off him. Sasha huffed and went back to the rest of the group.

“Ok, let’s go back to the drills. Marco, can you explain to Eren and Armin what to do?” Reiner said. 

_______________

“Hange, shut up.” Levi snapped, already regretting the decision to go with them and Lena. He just wanted to get to whatever Lena said would prove her point. They have been riding to it for half an hour now, going at a slow pace since Hange felt the need to have a conversation every other second. Only a few minutes after that they came across a smashed wagon with blood surrounding it. 

“There’s my proof,” Lena said and pointed. Hange ran up to it and touched the blood.

“This clearly isn’t titan blood because it hasn’t evaporated yet,” Hange ran around the cart and lifted up a piece of wood, “either it’s the dead horses’ blood or it’s your comrades’. I’ll bet it’s a combo of both, but we don’t even see your friends bodies. If you want us to believe you we need that proof.” 

Lena sighed and looked around for the bodies, but she couldn’t see them anywhere. She could see blood in small puddles all around the area, but still couldn’t see anything. “I don’t know, maybe the people who killed them hid their bodies?”

“Look for an area where there’s a pile of dirt.” Levi said and dismounted from his horse. He scanned the surrounding area when he saw a small pile of dirt almost in the forest. “Hey! This could be it.”

Hange and Lena jogged over, Hange bent down to observe it closer. “Looks as if it was ripped out and not shoveled.”

“How can you notice that?” Lena asked.

“If you look at the outline of this hole and around it you can see those little chunks of grass with dirt still connected to it, that basically means it's been ripped and not not dug.” Hange explained. 

“We have no way of proving your buddies' bodies are under there, though,” Levi argued. Hange shrugged.

“Technically yeah, we can’t prove it without a shovel and digging it up. But I’m agreeing with Lena, this is proof enough to go check out the Military training grounds.” 

Levi groaned and then spat out “fine.” He walked back over to his horse and climbed on, waiting for them to come back so the trio could continue their trek to the training grounds. 

After only a minute or two Lena and Hange mounted their horses again and were about to set off before Levi interrupted, “wait.” 

Hange tilted their head, “yes?”

“Lena, when we get there you aren’t allowed to ask questions or talk to any of the trainees. Once you identify the people you think did it and then we interrogate them, you’ll leave. We will update you every once in a while.” Levi said, looking Lena straight in the eyes. 

“Wha-“

“Sure.” Lena said. _I don’t even want to go see these kids, the chances of them ratting me out are high. Whatever, this is revenge for killing my friends. The little shits have it coming,_ Lena thought bitterly. 

“Great, let’s go” Levi turned his horse and took off down the dirt road. Hange and Lena a few feet behind him. Hange sped up their horse and caught up to Levi, the two silently thought about how they would plan on finding answers. 

_______

“We’re here!” Hange yelled. Levi saw the buildings in the distance that were getting increasingly closer.

“Know the plan? Our excuse to be here is to scout out potential soldiers for the Survey Corps.” Levi explained quickly, Hange looked at him seriously and Lena remained stoic, but looked Levi in the eyes. The trio slowed down and rode through the training grounds, Lena looked out for anyone familiar. Eventually they came across a kid wandering around.

“Hey! Wanna help us?” Hange asked. The kid looked scared, but nodded.

“Where’s the person in charge around here?” Levi asked. 

“Instructor Shadis, his office is over there.” The kid said and pointed to a small building. 

“Thanks!” Hange said. 

The three of them dismounted and tied their horses to a nearby post, then walked to the building. Levi knocked on the door and a muffled “come in” was heard. Hange and Levi stepped in while Lena stayed outside. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” Shadis said sarcastically. Levi rolled his eyes. 

“We’re just here to scout out the recruits since they’ll be graduating soon, where are they?” 

“It’s noon, so probably eating or relaxing. Maybe just finishing up the drills I told them.” Shadis responded. Levi scoffed.

“I mean which building, shitface.”

Shadis laughed quietly and pointed out the door, “over there or in the biggest building, you can’t miss it.”

Levi said a quick thanks to Shadis and walked out the office and over to where he had pointed. Sure enough, a group of about 10 trainees were doing an obstacle course that doubled as a fitness drill. No one seemed to notice the three adults observing their progress. 

“C’mon Eren! Beat Reiner!” a boy with a buzz cut yelled from the side. 

Levi turned to Lena, “any of these brats look familiar?” 

“Yeah, the brown haired one doing the course and the blond boy with shoulder length hair.”

Levi walked up to the group of teens and everyone fell silent when they noticed him. The brown haired kid doing the obstacle course actually fell off the part he was doing when he saw Levi. 

“You,” Levi said and pointed at the brown haired kid and then at the blonde, “and you. Come with me.” 

The kids shot each other a look, but followed Levi nevertheless. 

“Ooo, Eren’s in troubleee,” Jean said in a sing-song voice. 

“Fuck you, Jean!” Eren yelled back. Levi clenched his fists, you can’t hit a child, he thought exasperatedly. Once they were far enough from the group of teens Levi whirled around, causing Eren and Armin to stumble back. Hange and Lena stood behind Levi. 

“Hey! It’s you, the bitch who kidnapped us!” Eren yelled, stomping up to Lena.

“Eren!” Armin cried and grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

Levi turned to Lena, “is this true?” he asked menacingly.

“You’re seriously gonna believe the kids you just met over me?” She yelled.

“Maybe.” Levi responded. _And this is why I trust my gut, I knew she was suspicious from the start,_ Levi groaned inwardly. 

“Why don’t we hear the kids side of the story, ok?” Hange jumped in before this turned into a fight. 

“Eren ran into the woods, so I chased after him. We got lost obviously because it was dark and only getting darker. We started wandering around and then we walked into this women’s campground. We would’ve left, but then her friends kidnapped us. We had to fight our way out!” Armin explained. Adding a few tears here and there for dramatic effect. 

“You’re the one who turned into a titan!” Lena yelled back and pointed accusingly at Eren. 

“Uh-huh, sureeee. That sounds completely sane,” Eren said sarcastically. _If these people find out what I can do, I’m dead,_ Eren thought. 

Levi watched the interaction between Lena and the children. _Both of them are lying..._

“Lena, a moment?” Hange said and pulled her and Levi a couple of feet away from the teens. 

“Explain.” Levi said.

“They are lying, I’m not kidding!” She whisper-yelled. Levi pat her on the shoulder. 

“Go home, Lena,” Levi said. She hesitated for a second, but nodded and walked back over to her horse.

“Levi? Why would you do that?” Hange asked angrily, “you’re seriously going to let a potential child trafficker walk away? With your past?” 

“She got her coworkers killed in front of her and we’ve seen her face, if we really wanted to report her we could. It’s not like she will go risk that, plus she’s probably going to go kidnap some random kids after what those two did. We didn’t need her help anymore, so I let her go.” Levi reasoned calmly. 

“Fine, let’s get back to those kids. They look five seconds away from shitting their pants,” Hange laughed. 

Eren and Armin talked to each other in hushed whispers and panicked breaths. 

“Great, my idol is here and now he’s going to kill me for being a titan. This is just amazing,” Eren said, rolling his eyes and stretching his arms and legs.

“Uh, Eren? What are you doing?” Armin asked.

“What do you mean? I’m stretching so I can fight them obviously. If I get in a few good punches we could probably get away-“

“Eren?! No!” Armin yelled and then mumbled, “what is wrong with you sometimes?”

“What was that last part?” 

“Oh, nothing… Point is, that idea sucks. Just leave it to me and don’t hit anyone,” Armin said. _I need some alone time after all this,_ he thought. Levi and Hange walked back over to them. 

“Sorry for that,” Hange said awkwardly, “we let her leave, so you don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

Armin and Eren shifted uncomfortably and mumbled ‘thanks.’

“What are your names?” Levi asked. 

“Why do you want to know?” Eren challenged. Armin pinched his brows and resisted the urge to hit him. 

“Armin Arlert,” Armin said. 

“Eren Jaeger.”

“So, Jaeger, are you a titan?” Levi asked. He grabbed the front of Eren's shirt and pulled him face to face. 

“No!” Eren yelled. _Please believe me, please believe me, please believe me…_

Levi watched the kid closely, looking for any tells that he was lying. _There’s two possible explanations; either he is truly a titan, or Lena has been lying to us and just wanted to take revenge on the kid who killed her friends,_ Levi contemplated. He let go of his shirt and pushed him back. 

“Ok, Hange, let’s go.”

Hange stuttered for a few seconds, “S-seriously? We come all this way and then we leave just like that? You’re really going to trust this random kid's word?!” 

Levi ran a hand through his hair, “Hange, a word please?” He walked a few feet away and Hange followed him.

“What, Levi?” 

“We don’t have any legitimate proof first off, we lied to the instructor here, and this is insane.”

“Huh?” 

“What I’m saying is let's just cut our losses and leave. Think about it, the idea that someone could transform into a titan is impossible. You should know that too after researching them constantly,” Levi said while staring at them. Hange sighed.

“Fine, you’re right. Let’s just wait for another person to say the kid is a titan and then we can look more into it. Deal?” Hange held out their hand to shake on it.

Levi grabbed their hand and shook it, “deal.”

“Great!” they ran the few feet to the teens and addressed them, “we’re leaving. Consider this a funny prank, hope to see you in the Survey Corps!” They then took off to the horses. 

“Bye?” Eren responded hesitantly. Levi walked by them and turned to look the pair in the eyes.

“I have a feeling we’ll meet again. Don’t do anything stupid,” Levi said and then walked over to where Hange was with the horses. Eren’s jaw practically hit the ground and Armin was pretty sure he sweated through his jacket. 

“Sir!” Eren yelled and saluted. Levi rolled his eyes and kept walking, leaving the teens alone.

“I thought that was the end,” Armin mumbled, collapsing to the ground. Eren laughed slightly and extended his hand for Armin to grab, so he could pull him up. When Armin continued to ignore it Eren sat on the ground next to him. 

“It wasn’t that bad. We didn’t die and nobody found out, so overall it was pretty good,” Eren remarked. He was trying to comfort Armin, but it wasn’t working. Armin stared off into the space in front of him. Eren grabbed his forearms and pulled him up, patting his cheeks until Armin focused back. “Good?”

“Yeah, I’m good, sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize. You saved our asses more times in the past day than I can count.” 

Armin smiled and flushed, “c’mon let’s get back to training.”

_______

“Training is a bitch!” Eren sighed, falling backwards onto his bottom bunk. The other boys were walking slightly behind him. 

“Lazy ass,” Jean muttered and Marco jabbed him in the side. Armin laughed and then dragged Eren off his bed and into the bathroom. 

“We’re showering because we both smell like crap,” Armin said. He went over to a shower and turned it on, Eren did the same with the one next to it. A low divider between the two showers. Eren stripped and jumped into the stream of water, startling slightly when he realized it was too cold. He quickly turned up the heat and relaxed. Armin doing the same thing next to him, he grabbed a bit of soap and lathered it into his hair. Then he did the same with his body. He got out of the shower after a bit less than 10 minutes and wrapped a towel around his waist, leaving Eren in the bathroom. 

“Hey, Armin?” Marco called out. Armin was wearing his normal clothes and was sitting on his bed, zoning out. 

“Yeah?” he asked and walked over to where Marco, Jean, and Connie were sitting. 

“Why were those scouts here today?”

“They just wanted to check out the possible recruits, why?” Armin said sweetly.

“Nothing really, we were just wondering that’s all.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Eren butted into the conversation. They hadn’t realized Eren had gotten out of the shower and changed. 

“The scouts that came to check us out,” Armin replied, silently begging Eren to go along with the lie. Eren looked confused for a second and then rebounded.

“Yep! And guess who they didn’t talk to...” He said sarcastically and looked right at Jean. 

“You’re probably the only one here who would voluntarily join the Survey Corps” Jean rolled his eyes. 

“Can we go a single day without you two being at each other’s throats?” Marco interjected. Armin grunted in agreement. 

“Whatever, I’m going to go shower. Marco, you coming?” Jean said and left for the bathroom, Marco trailing behind him. 

“You’ve always been one to speak your mind,” Armin said, “but can you please try to get along with Jean? At least end military training on a good note since you might not see him again after.”

“He’s just so annoying” Eren groaned and plopped into a chair next to Connie who was still sitting at the table. 

“You know, I’ll leave you guys alone,” he said and scurried off somewhere.

“Where’s Reiner and Bertholdt?” Eren asked Armin.

“I don’t know, probably just relaxing outside somewhere.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company in the quiet space. 

“Wanna play cards?!” Eren asked out of the blue.

_______

“Stop laughing and go to sleep!” Reiner yelled impatiently.

A typical night for the cadets would include: saying crude jokes, thinking said jokes are the funniest thing in the world, not being able to shut up, someone getting offended, and finally, arguments. Currently they were still at the stage where they thought the joke was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. 

“Shut up, last time I checked it was 11 and we have to get up at 6 to go run sprints!” Someone yelled.

“Wait who said that?” 

“Dammit, just go to sleep.”

“Buzzkill…”

“SHUT UP!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told you it would be boring :/ whoopsies 
> 
> CAN YOU TELL THAT I HATE FANON ARMIN BC I HATE FANON ARMIN WITH A PASSIONNNN


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get Eren a therapist, please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLEARING STUFF UP ABOUT THIS CHAPTER: the first two sections aren’t linear and they take place somewhere between them getting back from the attempted kidnapping and graduating, i didn’t specify when the second section happened so its up to the reader.  
> after those first two sections is back on track plot stuff. during the eren and thomas convo/fight A LOT OF THAT WAS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE ANIME BUT THE REST OF IT ISNT. i will repeat that MAJORITY OF THE EREN AND THOMAS CONVO WAS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE ANIME AND TWEAKED SLIGHTLY BY ME, I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT. i will not be doing that i swear. this was literally a one time thing.
> 
> TW: self harm (cutting off a finger for experimenting), graphic depictions of dead bodies, blood and gore, poorly described panic attack

“Eren I don’t think this is a good idea…”

“Armin, we have a bit over a week to figure out these titan powers. A week. Can we at least try out a few of our theories?” Eren pleaded. Right now the two of them were in the forest, still in ODM gear and Eren had a blade drawn. They hadn’t been able to sneak away from Mikasa for almost a week after coming back from their little ‘adventure’. 

“Fine. I can’t believe I’m actually going along with your crazy ideas,” Armin groaned. He pulled out his blade and positioned it above Eren’s hand, only inches above its pointer finger. He raised it and was about to bring it down, but then stopped abruptly. “Yeah, no we’re not doing this.”

Eren grabbed the front of Armin’s shirt and pulled him face to face, inches away from each other. “If you don’t do it, I will.” He wasted no time to take his own blade and press it on his finger, blood beading slightly. 

“I’m not doing this. If you’re so committed to figuring out these powers then do it yourself,” Armin replied. _I can’t do this, but how can I call myself a friend if I let him cut off his finger? What if it never grows back and this whole plan goes South because it was a one-time thing? Oh my walls, Eren is cutting off his own finger right now…_

The blade sliced through skin and bone and the now detached finger seemed to fall in slow motion. Armin scrambled to grab Eren’s hand and press on the bleeding stump that used to be a finger. Eren was whimpering pitifully, trying to conceal the immense pain he was in. Tears flowed down his face silently and bit down on his lower lip.

“See?” he croaked out, “doesn’t even bother me.”

Armin’s jaw dropped, but he decided he could teach Eren about self-preservation later. 

“Might as well continue with your crazy-ass idea. Listen, I’m going to take my hand off your wound, so we can see how this works. Ok?” Armin asked. Eren nodded quickly and Armin withdrew his hand. Blood still leaked out of the wound, but now it was steaming and the flesh and bone seemed to knit itself back together out of thin air. 

After less than five minutes Eren was back to having ten complete fingers. 

“Whoa,” Armin breathed. Eren looked just as dumbstruck as he was, bending his finger and poking it. Armin reached out to touch it, too. _It’s warm still,_ Armin thought. 

Eren jumped up and started animatedly gesturing and talking. “This changes everything! Wow, if I can regenerate that then maybe I can regenerate whole limbs-“

“By the walls, Eren! No, we aren’t cutting off an entire limb!” Armin yelled and put both of his hands on the sides of Eren’s face, forcing Eren to look into his eyes. Tear stains still were present on Eren’s, but those were overshadowed by the look of absolute hope in Eren’s eyes. Something Armin hadn’t seen much of. Sure, Eren could say speeches about doing the right thing for humanity and not being afraid of the titans. But in all those times Eren’s eyes had been filled with anger, anger for the people they had lost. Now they had light back in them. _Oh Eren, I’ve missed you._

“Hellooo, Armin?” Eren waved his hand in front of his face.

“Yeah?”

“Great, you’re back. You zoned out for a little while back there, anyways what I was saying is that we should cut off my leg. Well, not really _we,_ more like _you._ ” Eren said as if this was normal.

“What the fuck? Eren no.” Armin replied, hoping his tone would signal the end of the conversation. Armin should’ve realized that once Eren gets an idea it's hard to stop him.

“My dad taught me anatomy, so I know where to cut it so I don’t bleed out before it heals. All I need you is to slice it, please?” Eren begged him. Armin grimaced and slowly shook his head. Eren sighed, “fine, I guess it’s understandable.”

Armin let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding and held onto the finger that Eren had just grown back. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Eren laughed awkwardly. _Why does he seem so concerned? He knows that it’ll just grow back, right? Armin, you’ve always been too nice to people who don’t need it,_ Eren thought. A dark part of his brain whispered, _or deserve it,_ but he shoved that aside. “Sure, Armin. If it makes that big of a difference to you I won’t cut off my leg.”

Armin smiled, “I’ll hold you to that.”

__________

**I looked down at the ground and saw blood soaking into the dirt and flies swarming the bodies littering the forest. I ran around looking for Armin’s and Mikasa’s bodies. I hurriedly turned over each of my friend's remains, the last glimpse of terror still on each of their lifeless faces. Each time checking for a pulse and each time finding none. I saw short black hair peeking out from behind another cadaver. I ran and stumbled over another body, falling into the black hair.**

**“Mikasa?” I whispered, voice cracking. Mikasa’s guts spilled out when I pulled her into my arms. My fingers fumbling to find a pulse on her wrist, there was none. Blood dripping out of her empty eye socket and onto my shoulder.**

**“You killed us, Eren,” a voice said behind me. Still clutching Mikasa’s lifeless body I whipped my head around and felt the blood leave my face. Armin stood a few feet away. He was missing an arm, half of his face was gone and his golden blonde hair was covered in blood. Multiple broken ribs stuck out his chest and he walked towards me.**

**“What? No, I would never!” I yelled at him, tears streaming down my face. Armin’s corpse continued to walk towards me until he was inches away from me. He kneeled down and took my face in his bloody hands.**

**“Why did you kill us, Eren?” he asked, rubbing his thumbs over my cheeks. I choked up.**

**“Why couldn’t you care about us enough to save us?” Mikasa asked, her reanimated corpse moving away from me and going to stand by Armin.**

**“I care about you!” I pleaded. Armin scowled, well he tried to with what remained of his face. He took a step away from me and Mikasa followed.**

**“If only you weren’t a titan,” Mikasa started.**  
**“Then maybe we wouldn’t be dead,” Armin finished. They walked away from me, I still sat in the puddle of Mikasa’s blood.**

**“Wait! No, stop! I love you!” I sobbed and screamed. I heaved myself up and sprinted to them, tackling them both. When I turned their faces around they were limp and cold, not a single word came out of them. “Come back to me,” I sobbed.**

**“I thought I loved you, I guess my love wasn’t enough,” Armin said quietly before going slack, mouth still slightly parted.**

Eren woke up with a gasp, he scrambled out of bed and dashed to the bathroom. He slammed the door open to one of the stalls and heaved into it, not even trying to be considerate of the boys trying to sleep. He threw up until he was stuck sitting on the floor dry heaving into the toilet, tears continuing to slip silently out of his eyes. The dry heaving slowly stopped and he felt like he could breathe again. He inhaled and exhaled shakily. Each time he closed his eyes the terrors from his nightmare would come back. A sob wracked his body and he threw his hands over his mouth to quiet the noises. _Thank the walls I shut the bathroom door,_ he thought, trying to take his mind off what had happened. 

**I thought I loved you, I guess my love wasn’t enough.**

Eren dry heaved again.

Armin listened to Eren from the other side of the bathroom door. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting here, listening to Eren be in pain, at least an hour. _What a great friend, you’re too afraid to even talk to him right now. Why should you be allowed to even call Eren your friend if you’re not willing to help him? Pathetic._ Armin shook the thoughts from his head and slowly opened the door. 

“Eren?” he called out softly, closing the door behind him. He heard him sob and then Eren scrambled to sit up. The two stared at each other, only a few feet away. Eren backed against the wall, eyes still wide and staring at Armin as if he was a danger. 

Armin took a step back and slowly lifted his hands above his head, showing he was unarmed and not dangerous. He tried again to get a response from Eren, 

“Eren?“ 

“Shut up,” he murmured. Armin was taken aback and reached out for Eren.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here with you-“

“SHUT UP!” Eren screamed, “YOU AREN’T EVEN ALIVE, WHY ARE YOU STILL TORMENTING ME?!” He fell to the ground in a heap. Eren wrapped his arms around his knees and bit his hand to stop the sobs from coming. His breaths came out short and quick. 

Armin still stood frozen. He was truly at a loss for what to do if Eren wouldn’t even let him get near me.

“Are you even real?” Eren whispered. Armin’s heart broke and in that moment, he decided to do the only thing he could think of. _I’m sorry, Eren._

Armin walked up to Eren and pressed Eren’s face into his chest. Eren struggled, trying to pull back and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like. ‘no, I don’t want to get stabbed by your ribs’. 

“Can you hear my heart beating?” Armin asked softly. After a minute Eren nodded.

“And can you feel the heat my skin gives off?” Eren nodded again, this time quicker. 

“I’m here, Eren. I’m real, I’m alive. I’m ok,” Eren gripped Armin’s shirt tighter.

The pair stayed like that for a while on the floor of the bathroom. Armin’s arms wrapped around Eren and Eren’s head tucked under Armin’s chin, his breathing slowly matching up to Armin’s. 

“You ok?” Armin asked after a while. 

“Yeah,” Eren said tiredly, “I’ll be ok.” 

Armin smiled reassuringly and went to rub Eren’s hand, but Eren flinched away. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Armin said quickly and retracted his hand. 

“It’s ok,” Eren said again and tried to smile. His eyes still had that haunted look in them. Armin sighed and untangled himself from Eren. He refrained from offering Eren a hand and let him get up on his own. 

“Let’s go back to bed. I can tell the sun will be up soon, so let’s try to get some sleep.” Eren’s eyes widened and he shook his head. 

“I- I can’t go back to sleep!” Eren cried, looking on the verge of tears.

**You killed us, Eren.**

**Why did you kill us, Eren?**

Eren started to back away from Armin again, but Armin brought him back to reality before he could spiral again. 

“I’m here, I’m real, I’m alive,” Armin said and intertwined their fingers.

“Thank you,” Eren breathed out. Armin just led him out of the bathroom and over to his bed. Armin noticed that some people were awake, he tried to signal to them that he would explain later. That seemed to get the point across because everyone awake seemed to relax. 

“Ok, your bed is here,” Armin said delicately, “I’ll be in the bunk above you, so if you need me I’ll be there. Ok?” Eren didn’t respond, but Armin took that as a yes and tried to pull his hand away. Eren tightened his grip. “What, Eren?”

“Can you, um-“ Eren looked awkwardly at the sheets, “canyousleepwithme?”

Armin blushed and stuttered, “sure? If you want then yes of course.” Eren nodded and Armin climbed into the twin-sized bed. The two of them shuffled awkwardly until they were finally in a comfortable position. Eren’s back was to Armin, who wrapped his arms around Eren’s middle. 

Eren slept peacefully after that. 

___________

“You have three choices: the Garrison Regiment, the Scout Regiment, and the Military police! Only the top ten scorers will be able to join the Military Police.” 

Eren eagerly awaited the end of the Graduation Ceremony. He had been waiting for this moment ever since he joined the military training. You could even argue he’d been waiting for this moment ever since he saw the scouts for the first time. Eren sighed, fantasizing about what his first titan kill would be like. 

Mikasa grabbed his arm and shook it, “Eren? Ceremony ended, c’mon let’s go eat.”

Eren nodded and followed her to where Armin had been waiting for them. “Ready?” Armin asked.

Eren grinned and nodded, grabbing Armin and Mikasa’s hands he led them over to the building where they would be eating. If he noticed Armin and Mikasa blushing, he decided not to comment. 

“I never realized how good meat was until I haven’t eaten it in a month,” Eren groaned, shoveling more food into his mouth. Armin and Mikasa sat on either side of him and ate more politely.

“If you keep eating like that you’ll choke,” Mikasa deadpanned. Eren grumbled a complaint but reluctantly slowed down. The large room was filled with conversation, everyone was deciding what regiment to join. 

“Guys, let’s go get something to drink,” Eren said. Walking off to get a mug with Mikasa and Armin following him. He followed the path of people over to the drinks, talking to some along the way. He grabbed a mug and poured whatever he saw first. 

“Hey Eren, you still think you won’t join the Military Police?” Thomas asked. 

“You got in the top ten!” another guy added. 

“Yeah? I’ve never said anything different,” Eren responded, “I trained so I could fight titans, not live in the interior.”

Thomas gritted his teeth, “you can’t beat them!” he yelled, “they’ve killed thousands of people and you probably know that the best!” Eren’s brows creased and he turned to Thomas.

“It’s that mentality that makes us unable to beat them! If we all said shit like that then we would never even get a chance to fight back!” Eren ground out. 

“You’ll just die! Everyone in the Scout Regiment dies!” Thomas argued back, “We lost 20 percent of the population years ago. After that, the answer is clear: Humanity can’t defeat the titans.”

Eren clenched his jaw, “So? Do we just give up because we think we can't win?”

“Well…”

“You’re right, we’ve been on the losing side. That’s because we didn’t know how to deal with titans,” the room was silent and every eye was Eren, “standard warfare is meaningless against the titans. We may have lost in the past, but each of those losses has helped us gain valuable information! Are we going to abandon everything we learned, after so much sacrifice, and just become titan fodder?!” Eren glared at his hand and squeezed it into a fist. “I’m going to drive every last one of those fucking titans out, and leave these cramped walls! That’s my dream, humankind hasn’t lost yet!” 

Armin watched in amazement. _All these years did nothing to change his opinion, he’s still as hard-headed as he was the moment we joined the cadet corps,_ Armin thought, _I was worried for him during training. He seemed to lose himself and would get angrier with less provocation, but I guess graduating helped bring his spirit back._

The room stared at Eren in silence and he grit his teeth angrily, tears beaded at the corner of his eyes and he took off. 

“Wait, Eren!” Armin called after him, chasing him with Mikasa. 

Eren sat on the stone stairs outside of the building, he quickly wiped his eyes and looked at Armin and Mikasa. 

“What’s up?” he asked innocently, but his voice cracked and betrayed him. Armin and Mikasa laughed and went to sit by him. Armin lowered himself on the step below Eren and Mikasa was a step or two above Eren. “Seriously though, go back and enjoy the party. You don’t need to talk to me.”

“Idiot, we want to spend time with you,” Mikasa said. Eren huffs and turns back to the wall and stars above it.

“I’m joining the scouts with you, Eren,” Armin said. Eren whipped his head to him.

“W- Why?!” Eren asked.

“I want to one day see the ocean with you, that’s my dream. I figure joining the scouts along with you is my best option.” Eren smiled weakly at that response. 

“I’ll join the scouts as well,” Mikasa piped up from behind him.

“What? You got the best score out of the three of us, why wouldn’t you join the Military Police?!”

“I’ll go wherever you go, if you decide to go to the MPs then I will too.” Eren scowled and went back to staring at the wall.  
Eren sighed. “Do what you want, you’ll both know where I’ll be,” he blushed and fumbled out, “I’m really glad you would both come with me.”

“What was that?” Mikasa teased him, “couldn’t hear you, can you speak up?” 

“Fuck off!” he yelled, but his words didn’t have much bite in them. Armin and Mikasa giggled and eventually, all three of them were practically pissing themselves.

“You guys think that we’ll stay like this?” Armin asked once the trio had calmed down. 

“What do you mean?” Eren asked.

“I just mean do you think we’ll stay this close? This happy?”

Eren playfully pushed Armin's face, “sure we will, who’s stopping us?”

___________

The next morning Eren looked the colossal titan in the face. _You know what, Armin, I don’t think we’ll be like that again…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that nightmare was completely self indulgent oops
> 
> if you are confused about this chapter please don’t hesitate to ask, i know this one could’ve been a bit confusing with all the time skips


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAH I HATE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH but enough self deprecating thoughts. getting mikasas character right is extremely hard, tbh i didn’t expect to have this much trouble writing stuff more from her pov. idk if you have found out my updating schedule but its once every 5 days so thats fun
> 
> TW: aot-typical violence and gore, some graphic depictions of injuries

“Everyone go to your squads and remember your job: protect the remaining civilians! Dismissed!” Shadis yelled. Each cadet had the same look of fear and panic on their face and most of all, desperation. 

“I was so close, so close to joining the Military Police…” Jean mutters as he walks quickly through the small courtyard and runs into Eren.

“Watch where you’re going, asshole,” Eren growls. 

Jean rolls his eyes, “you ran into me.”

“I did not!” 

“Whatever, I don’t have time for this,” Jean said and went to move past Eren, but Eren grabbed his shoulder and pushed him against the wall. “Let go of me, you shit!”

“Where are you going in such a hurry? Didn’t peg you as a guy who would rush to join the group that fights titans,” Eren countered, eyes narrowed.

Jean ripped himself out of Eren’s grasp, “where do you think I’m going? I’m getting on the first boat to the interior.” 

“You’re seriously going to abandon humanity? You’re not even going to try to fight back?! Then what the fuck was the point of the last 3 years, we just trained nonstop for 3 fucking years and you want to ditch at the last moment? What is wrong with you? If you survived training then you can survive this too!” Eren screamed, he pinned Jean back against the wall, forcing him to listen to his entire speech. “Don’t just give up after we’ve gotten this far! We aren’t going to die, not yet at least.” 

The people around them perked up after hearing Eren’s impromptu speech and started standing up, some continued to lay on the ground and accept their fates as titan fodder. Jean and Eren parted ways and Eren quickly came across Mikasa. 

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” she said.

“Yeah? What do you want?” Eren asked, he wanted to go get prepared to defend Trost.

“Just,” Mikasa sighed, “if you get in trouble come find me.”

Eren rolled his eyes and pushed her out of the way, “I’ll be fine, Mikasa. Stop worrying so much.”

Mikasa was about to argue before a Garrison soldier approached them, “Mikasa Ackerman, you are supposed to go join the rear squad immediately.”

“What? No, I’m in-“

“You heard him! Nobody cares about what you want, go fight for humanity!” Eren yells at her. She turns around and follows the man a few steps and then looks back at Eren.

“Don’t die, dumbass,” she says quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. He laughs and throws his head back, but quickly grows serious once more. 

“I’ll be fine!” 

“Excited, Eren?” Armin asks as they wait for orders. Eren cracks a small smile and looks at Eren sideways.

“Sure I am, I’m going to defeat the titans and destroy Trost! If this succeeds we’ll probably be able to join the Scouts and leave the walls,” Eren replied. Armin watches him hesitantly but then smiles back. 

“Whatever you say,” Armin says while exhaling. “Oh, wait, Eren, come over here for a second.”  
Confusion crosses Eren’s face, but he follows Armin so they are on the opposite side of the roof where the rest of the squad stands.

“If you get in a tight situation try to turn into a titan,” Armin whispers. 

“Did we ever figure out how?” Eren whispers back quickly, Armin shrugs.

“You turned into a titan when you got shot, so maybe if you’re in a life or death situation you’ll change automatically?” Armin guessed. 

“Yeah, ok. I’ll take your word for it-“

“When I say that, I don’t mean go purposely into a life or death situation!” Armin quickly interrupted and grabbed Eren’s shoulders. “I’m serious, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. Not again…”

“I didn’t die when that crazy lady shot me, so technically you’ve never lost me before,”  
Armin glared at him.

“…anyways I swear I’ll be careful and won’t do dumb shit,” Eren finished. Armin still looked skeptical and worried, so Eren grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. “I promise.”

They looked into each other’s eyes and Armin searched for any lies in Eren’s green orbs, all hesitation was gone and determination shone through. _Eren, you deserve better than this shitty world. We shouldn’t have to promise to each other that we won’t die a horrible death,_ Armin thought sorrowfully. 

“Fine, but if you’re lying, the titans won’t be the only thing trying to kill you,” Armin said in a fake menacing tone. Eren gave Armin his signature grin and laugh and Armin felt his heart skip a beat. _What was that? All Eren did was smile and laugh, that’s not new…_

“Soldiers! Your orders are to join the front guards and assist them!” A man yells at them. Their squad sets off and runs through the city, using ODM gear to shoot across the buildings.

“Hey, Eren! We listened to your speech and got really motivated and shit, so what I’m saying is thanks!” Thomas yelled. Mina nodded and shouted at him in agreement. Eren blushed and turned his head, muttering thank you. They continued their path to the front as saw the smoke and fires become clearer and brighter. A putrid smell was thick in the air and only got thicker. _Holy shit, the titans are already in Trost,_ Eren thought. 

“Titan!” Armin screamed and pointed. Every dodged out of the way when the thing leaped at them.

“Where’s Thomas?!” Mina screamed. The titan that had previously leaped at them tilted its head and stared at them. Thomas’s body hung out of the titan’s mouth, paralyzed in fear and pain. 

“WAIT-“ Eren screamed, and then the titan bit down. Blood went everywhere and Eren felt as if he was back in his 10-year-old body, watching his mother get eaten without him doing a single thing, “BASTARD!” Eren screamed and shot off to go kill the thing. He swung from building to building, quickly gaining on the titan. He pulled his arms back, gripped his blades tightly, and prepared to slice through the thick nape of the titan. A titan below him shot up and Eren had no time to move out of the way, his leg got bit off and he crashed into the roof. He rolled and hit multiple roofs before coming to a complete stop. 

Eren had never felt that much pain in his entire life. Not when he would fight bullies as a kid. Not when he was choked by the man trying to kidnap Mikasa. Not when he was shot only a month or so ago. His body felt like it was on fire, each bone felt splintered and his leg ached. He could feel the blood dripping down his face and onto the roof. His hand hung off of it and he had no choice, but to watch his friends get eaten. He heard his friends scream for anyone to come and help them. _Get up,_ his brain screamed at him, _get up and fight! Don’t just sit and watch as your friends die! Maybe if you were stronger you could’ve saved them…_

Eren’s eyes kept focusing and unfocusing, but his eyes latched onto a still form with blonde hair. He focused hard and saw Armin staring at his prone form, he was on his knees and his hands laid on the roof. Armin didn’t even seem to notice the titan that approached him, not until it was grabbing Armin and lifting it to its mouth. 

“NO! STOP-“ he was dropped onto the titan’s tongue and slid down it, trying desperately to latch onto anything that would stop it. He felt a warm hand grab his own and he looked up to see Eren holding him. Eren grit his teeth in determination and heaved Armin up, he then threw Armin out of the mouth. Armin landed heavily and multiple roof tiles broke beneath him. Eren kneeled in the titan’s mouth, arm stretched out to Armin. 

Armin lunged forward and screamed, “TRANSFORM!” 

The titan bit down and Eren’s arm flew off, blood sent flying. Armin’s jaw dropped and he let out a bloodcurdling scream. Tears fell in large groups and he sobbed loudly. He didn’t know how long he sat there before a huge hand stuck out of the titan. 

_D-did he actually get the chance to transform?_ Armin watched as a titan - Eren’s titan - ripped the titan in half by sheer force and stand to its full height. It roared and then peered at Armin, recognition shone in its eyes and Armin stood up on shaky legs. “Eren?”

The titan blinked and seemed to groan in response. _Amazing,_ Armin gazed in wonderment. 

“Go kill titans! Come find me when you finish!” Armin yelled and tried to phrase it simply, still not sure if Eren was entirely in control or able to respond to complex words. Eren seemed to get the point though because he roared again and two titans attacked Eren. Armin forced himself to look away and shoot off to find another squad. As much as he wanted to stay with Eren, he knew that Eren would fight better without him there. _I always seem to get in the way. If Eren wasn’t able to turn into a titan… he would’ve actually died. For me. How could I have lived with myself if that happened?_ Armin pushed those thoughts aside and looked for a squad, he spotted Connie and made a path over to him. He landed on the roof that Connie, Ymir, and Krista were standing on and startled the group. 

“Why aren’t you with your squad?” Connie questioned. Armin swallowed the bile that started to rise when he thought about his comrades.

“They died,” Armin said weakly. Connie gasped and Krista shoved him out of the way. 

“Even Eren?” she demanded. Armin paused at that question, he didn’t exactly know what to say because he’s not dead, but he doesn’t want people to find out that the raging titan was Eren. 

“I don’t know, in the middle of a fight we got separated.”

Krista nodded and went back to Ymir. Connie looked concerned and Armin wanted to tell Connie the truth so badly, but he wouldn’t do that to Eren. 

“How are you coping with that?” Connie asked quietly, completely out of character for his normally laughy and positive self. Armin sighed for dramatics and tried to get tears to well up in his eyes, so his lie would look real.

“I’m worried obviously, but Eren wouldn’t just die that easily. He’s stronger than you think, than everyone thinks. He’ll be fine, I believe in him.” Connie smiled sadly at that.

“Sorry, man, we all knew he was important to you.”

“Why are you saying that as if he’s dead?!” Armin questioned angrily. _Do these people seriously think that little of Eren?_

“No offense, Armin, but I don’t think he’s coming back. Hardly ever when someone gets separated they are actually found alive. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, sweetcakes,” Ymir said, deadpanning. 

“Ymir!” Krista cried. 

“What? I’m only being honest, I’m surprised that that idiot has even made it this far.” 

“You don’t have to believe me, but I believe in Eren,” Armin growls, trying desperately not to scream at Ymir for how wrong she is. Ymir just stared at him.   
“Whatever, I’m leaving.”

Connie quirks his head, “Wait, why?”

Armin ignores him and just shoots off, leaving them behind. He looks around for anyone he could help. 

_Should I go find Eren? I know he probably has everything under control, but I still feel like I should check on him. If I did that though I would just be a nuisance, he’d have to protect me against the titans and that could get him legitimately killed. He’s always had to protect me, I’ve always been too weak to help him. He’s always had to save me. Why can’t I repay the favor for once?_

The evacuation bell rang clear and strong over the screams of people. 

Mikasa scanned the area for any sign of her fellow soldiers, specifically a blonde and brunette. She didn’t see anyone though, only the people in the rear guard climbing up the wall and a few stragglers. She sighed and tugged her hands through her hair, trying desperately to not spiral to a worst-case scenario. She saw a few titans in the distance all going in the same direction, she followed behind them and felt the life in her body leave. The entire HQ was covered in titans trying to get in. She quickly shot forward and killed the titans she was following, the blood landing on her clothes and turning into steam. 

She searched for an open entrance, but only saw a window that was free of titans. She slammed feet first into the window, effectively breaking it and rolling to break her fall. Mikasa stood up slowly, making sure nothing was wrong with her legs and then stalked over to the door. She opened it an inch and peered inside, about six to seven four-meters. _In this enclosed area I can’t effectively use my gear, I’d only be able to kill a few of these shits before one gets me,_ Mikasa strategized. She opened the door fully and took a step out, there was a door at the end of the hallway that hopefully had things she could use to kill the titans. Once she couldn’t see any titans she sprinted to the door and threw her shoulder into it, trying to open the door. 

“Fuck! Why is this door locked?!” she yelled and hit the door with her palm. 

“Get the door open!” Mikasa could hear voices on the other side of the door. The door whipped open and a hand grabbed her arm, yanking her into the room. Sasha pulled her into a hug and shoved her head in between Mikasa’s neck and shoulder. After realizing who it was, Mikasa hugged her tightly back. 

“No one had seen you, we were worried,” Sasha mumbled. 

Mikasa twirled a piece of Sasha’s hair between her fingers, “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m strong.” Someone coughed behind them.

“I hate to break up the moment _lovebirds,_ but we have actual issues at the moment,” Jean snarked. 

“Oh c’mon, Jean! We all know you have a thing with Marco, let me have this moment!” Sasha groaned and flipped him off. Jean blushed furiously and turned around, taking a sudden interest in the wall. 

“I do not have a thing with Marco!” He said, trying to sound sure of himself.

“Where’s Eren and Armin?” Mikasa cut in.

“I’m here, Mikasa.” Mikasa whipped her head to the side and saw Armin sitting on the ground in the corner of the small, cramped room. 

“Why are you sitting on the floor?” She asked. Armin shrugged. “Wait, where’s Eren?”

“I don’t know, the last time I saw him was probably an hour ago. I know he’s alive, don’t freak out.” Mikasa had stopped listening after he said _‘I don’t know’_ and stalked over to the door. She started moving the things in front of it out of the way. 

“Mikasa, where are you going?!” Sasha cried, putting her hand on Mikasa’s shoulder and successfully stopping her.

“I’m going to look for Eren.”

_I should’ve not told her that, fuck, Armin scolded himself. How am I supposed to get her to not go look for him?_

“Mikasa, stay here and help the rest defeat the titans ravaging HQ. I’ll go out and look for him,” Armin said and stood up.

“No, not happening.”

“Seriously? Mikasa, you’re stronger than me and none of us will get out of here unless we get the gas that’s currently below us. We won’t survive unless you kill those, plus I’m willing to bet you don’t have as much gas as me,” Armin argued. Mikasa opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and moved out of the way of the door. 

Armin smiled gratefully and hugged her quickly, “I’ll be fine.”

“You better be.”

Armin slipped out the door and crept out, staying as quiet as he could to not alert the titans below him. Once he got to the door at the end of the hallway that was already open he walked in and saw the busted window. _Walls, Mikasa, did you crash through a window?_ He leapt out the window and shot his grappling hooks at a building, pulling his body there. He landed on the roof and searched for Eren. Armin scanned the area, looking for any large masses of titans or one very aggressive titan. He heard a roar behind him and laughed loudly out of pure joy, tilting his head back. _I can always count on you to be loud and extra, Eren._ He followed the sounds of titans fighting and the subtle sound of blood and guts landing on stone. 

When he got there Eren was fighting three titans at once, all climbing over him and one directly positioned over his nape. Armin gasped and shot forward, cutting the nape of the titan trying to eat Eren's nape. Once he did that Eren crushed the skull of one of the other titans and the for the other he ripped its nape off. Eren’s titan then turned to face Armin, a slight smile on its face. _If you could count that as a smile,_ Armin thought. He then leapt onto Eren’s shoulder and walked to its nape, where he saw Eren exit his titan last time. He shot his grappling hooks on either side, securing him in place. Then he lifted his blade and sliced down on each side of the nape, not too deep to cut Eren, but hopefully deep enough for him to pull Eren out. Steam billowed out and Armin had to shield his face. He coughed and cut slightly deeper, then put his blade back. He reached in and almost pulled back, the inside was scalding. He ignored that and grabbed what felt like Eren’s arm, yanking back he felt Eren start to come free. Armin then wrapped his arms around Erens’s torso, pulling tightly. He felt his hooks start to come out of Eren's titan’s skin and he pulled tighter. He then felt Eren pull free and they both tumbled to the ground. Armin landed on the titan’s leg painfully with Eren still in his arms. 

“Eren?! Eren, can you hear me?!” Armin yelled and they fell further off the titan, but this time onto the stone road. Armin taking the force of the fall yet again. He slung Eren’s arm over his shoulder and dragged them into a side alley. He propped Eren against the wall of an abandoned building and sat beside him. Armin intertwined their fingers again, ignoring the burn he got from Eren’s hot skin. “Hey, Eren? Can you hear me?”

Eren didn’t say anything and Armin exhaled slowly with a desperate attempt to reassure himself, _this is fine, I’m fine, he’s fine, Mikasa is fine. As long as we aren’t found, it's all good._ Armin let his fingers lightly trace over the markings on Eren’s face, feeling their ridges and dips out of curiosity and as a distraction for the problem at hand. He pulled his hand back and laid his head on Eren’s shoulder; Armin’s breathing started to calm. 

_This is all a problem for Future Armin, not Present Armin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well thats all for today folks i really hope you enjoyed reading that more than i did writing it, see you again on the 21st (hopefully)

**Author's Note:**

> comments are appreciated but ik how strangely scary it can be to comment so if you dont want to its ok :)  
> i dont have a schedule for updates so expect maybe once a week bc i’m still doing online school


End file.
